Second Chances
by Eawynne
Summary: Basically, what if Lily had been alive when Severus Snape found her and Harry? I haven't published FF for a long time and this is my first Harry Potter story. It is rated M, but there will not be anything terribly graphic, it's just for safety with the system.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: ** All characters belong to J. K. Rowling. Not mine, just playing with a "what if"_

_She's breathing! She's alive! _

The world had spun into a blur after that moment, leaving him at her side at St. Mungo's, willing her to wake and praying as he had never done before. The healers were mystified, she should be dead. She should have died. Her son was safe, he had been taken to her sister and her family, not that he had agreed with that decision, but his opinion didn't seem to carry much weight in the matter. Dumbledore had overruled him. Now all he could do was wait.

Soft red hair fell around her face, though her eyes were closed he knew the emerald depths her eyelids hid, her porcelain skin was unblemished.

He let his fingers touch her hand, it was cold. Maybe she would die after all. He felt his heart tighten. No, he didn't want to lose her. He put his forehead down against her hand. Her son was safe, she was safe. She had to live. Even if she continued to hate him, she had to live. She had brought him back from the brink of hell without even knowing it. He had only known one thing, he could not let her come to harm and that included those she loved, even if she despised him. Would she be able to forgive him? She hadn't then.

He thought he felt movement and looked towards her face. Her eyes fluttered open. His heart swelled with utter joy. She was awake.

"Lily."

She looked at him, frowning. "What? Where?"

"You're at the hospital. I found you. Your son is safe. I . . . I'm sorry, there was nothing anyone could do for your husband."

He waited, sure she would eject him from the room. There was no other way to say it, and holding off the truth seemed very close to lying.

"My baby is safe."

"Yes. He's with your sister, he's protected."

"James is dead."

"I'm sorry. Yes."

"How? Why you?"

He inhaled deeply. "I won't give you the whole story right now, but before I say anything else, I just want you to know that I am eternally sorry for what I said to you that day."

She stared at him. "You already apologised."

"But you said you'd never forgive me."

She closed her eyes a moment before looking back at him. "I was a stupid girl, I suppose I'm not as perfect as you thought I was. I do understand now, you were hurt and embarrassed and I was mothering you."

He felt a slight blush rise in his face against his will, at least she was the only one who could see him, and nodded. He supposed that was an accurate description.

"Please, what happened? How are you involved?"

"I cannot tell you everything. I will tell you that I wish I had been sooner, but by the time I got there, he had already found you. I thought you were dead, but found you barely alive."

"I should be dead."

He nodded, allowing his still long black hair to flop into his face before raking a hand through it to push it back. He supposed at 21 he really ought to go for a hair cut.

"But why you?"

He drew in a deep breath. "Because I love you. I have since the day we met, and I've never stopped. I couldn't let him hurt you. I failed. But I did it because I love you."

He felt her hand, still far too cold, curl around his. "You didn't fail, you saved my son. That would have been enough even if I had died. You did not fail. Thank you."

Silence hung for moment before she opened her lips to speak again. "I forgive you. I can see you're still the good man I knew you were when we were children."

"I'll keep you and the boy safe, I swear it."

She smiled. "I know. Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Recognised characters and events belong to J. K. Rowling.

**A/N: **Where is this going? I admit this is a plot as I go event….hope you enjoy. Comments, critiques, all welcomed. I do not yet have a beta, but I have tried to be careful. Thank you for reading!

Two

He left, placing a gentleman's kiss on her fingertips before dashing away and promising he would return. She stared at the chair he had occupied. Had she seen tears in those black eyes? Or had she been imagining things? _Because I love you. I have since the day we met, and I've never stopped. I couldn't let him hurt you. I failed. But I did it because I love you. _He loved her? Wasn't he a Death Eater? She closed her eyes. Someone had betrayed them. Her husband was dead. At least Harry was safe. She should be dead, even as she closed her eyes she could hear the Avada Kedavera curse and see the green light. How was she still alive?

The healers had no answers for her and she drifted in and out of sleep. It seemed as though days had passed before two men entered the ward. She was the only patient there. Albus Dumbledore smiled at her and Severus looked at her in a way she could not begin to define. Dark circles ringed his black eyes, he was paler than normal, his robes in need of a good cleaning. He lifted his wand and although she did not hear him speak, she knew he was making certain no one would be able to hear them.

"Albus. Severus."

"Lily. I'm so sorry about James." Albus spoke, taking her hand and patting it gently.

She nodded, her eyes still on the tall man in black robes who as far as she knew was a Death Eater, and yet he had professed his love for her. Pure, unconditional love, not bound by her response, freely given, did he realise as she did that that was love—real, true love.

He sat down, still silent.

"When can I be with Harry? What happened?"

It was Albus that spoke. "Sirius Black betrayed you."

"He would never do that, Albus!" She started to sit up.

Severus leaned forward and put a hand on her shoulder, keeping her where she was and keeping his coal coloured eyes on her as he spoke, the low rumble of his voice something she could imagine she felt. "Start at the beginning, Albus."

The old wizard sighed and spoke again. "You already know why you went into hiding. What you do not know is how. Severus came to me and told me of Voldemort's plans to kill you, James, and Harry and begged me to protect you. That night he ceased to be a Death Eater."

She had not taken her eyes from Severus. He closed his eyes and nodded. "But...?"

"He is a spy, Lily, for the Order. He is invaluable, from him we get information from the inner circle, at great personal risk he works from inside, in all appearances a Death Eater when he is truly a member of the Order. He is one of us. Obviously, few know this."

Severus met her eyes again.

"It couldn't have been Sirius that betrayed us."

"It seems that it was, either way, he's in Azkaban for killing Peter Pettigrew."

Lily felt tears in her eyes. Her world had been turned upside down. The person she thought she could never trust again was the one person risking the most to protect her. The ones she thought she trusted were apparently not to be trusted. "Remus?"

"He's as shocked as anyone, but he is in on Severus's change of heart."

"What about...he-who-must-not-be-named?"

Both Albus and Severus seemed to shift uncomfortably at her question. It was Severus who parted his lips and spoke in that same deep rumble that was just him. "Many think he is dead. However, I believe, and Albus agrees, he has just disappeared. He will return. You know of the prophesy?"

She nodded. "I want to see Harry."

Severus crossed his arms, leaned back in his chair and gave Dumbledore the most frigid glare she had ever seen in her life. She half expected Dumbledore to turn into ice, Severus had always been good at unspoken magic.

"Lily, it would be best if he remains where he is, he is safe. He is still the key to defeating you know who."

"What if you're wrong?"

Severus spoke, his focus again on her. "We aren't about that. He is not dead, not yet. I agree that you and the child must be kept safe, I do NOT agree with keeping you separate nor do I agree with allowing Petunia to care for him."

"Petunia wouldn't harm him, Sev." She spoke, her nickname for him slipping naturally off her tongue.

"Not physically, no. I am certain he would not be mistreated that way." He just stared at her and she knew what he meant.

He would not get the love he should, the encouragement he should. She thought immediately of how she and Sev had been treated by Petunia and bit her lip. Something warm and strong folded around her hand and she looked down to see Severus holding her hand. Their eyes met and he started to pull away, but she held him. "It's ok."

Obsidian eyes reflected surprise, but he maintained his grasp on her hand. "We need to keep you both safe. No one can explain how it is you both survived, but when he returns you will both be in grave danger. The killing curse rebounded on him, he will be after you both when he returns."

She turned to Albus. She could barely hold her eyes open, she wanted to be alone. "I'm tired, can we finish this later?"

"Of course." The elderly wizard stood and left the room, but Severus remained planted in his chair.

Her eyes barely remained open, her body relaxed, she looked like she would drift off at any moment.

"I know you need your rest, but, Lily..."

She seemed to force her eyes open.

"I do not agree with keeping you from your son, but I am forced to agree it is best to keep you both hidden."

"I know. I want to see him, Sev. Do you think he will be all right?"

He tightened his grip on her hand. "Yes. I don't think they would do any actual physical harm to the boy." At least he hoped they would not. He could well imagine Petunia being unloving and even verbally abusive, possibly neglectful, but he hoped the child never experienced physical abuse as he had as a child, his feelings about the child's father aside. "You know Vernon better than I do, are you afraid he would?"

"I don't know."

"I will check on him. I'll go now. I don't want you to worry."

"Thank you, Sev."

She was asleep so quickly he wondered if she heard him say goodbye.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He apparated to the doorstep of the Dursley home and raised his hand to knock. And waited. The door opened to reveal a large man who glared up at him.

"We don't want anything."

Drawing in a deep breath in an effort to remain calm, he spoke. "I am Severus Snape. I am here to check on the Potter child."

"You're one of them freaks."

Severus bit his tongue, taming his temper. He would not respond to taunts as a child might. He was a grown man, one that was no longer a Death Eater. "I am a wizard. Let me see the child."

Dursley got out of his way and Severus strode past him, listening for sounds of a baby. He heard none. Stopping by the stairs, he turned to Harry's uncle.

"Where is he?"

"Upstairs."

Before he could start up the stairs, Petunia appeared at the top.

"You!"

"Tuney. I'm here to see your nephew. He was placed in your tender care a week ago."

"Oh, he's . . ."

"Upstairs. Asleep."

Severus looked at the two muggles. Did they think him an idiot? There was something wrong and he strode up the stairs, determined to find out what they were apparently trying to hide from him.

He followed Petunia to a closed bedroom door. He opened it and went inside. There was a crib, dresser, changing table, all the normal nursery furniture. He leaned over and looked at the sleeping child. He turned and drew himself to his full height, towering over the Dursley's. "Do you really think I'm that stupid? Where is Harry Potter? You were given the child to protect and you agreed. Now." He spoke through clenched teeth, his wand now in his hand.

He followed the now stuttering Vernon Dursley down the stairs, he opened the cupboard under the stairs. Severus felt ill and drew on his capabilities of mental control to not lash out at them as he scooped the child up from the basket he was in. Young Harry looked every inch like his father, a thought that annoyed Severus, except his eyes. He had his mother's eyes. Ignoring for the moment that he had no idea what to do with a baby, he turned and pointed his wand at the Dursley's.

"Are there or are there not three bedrooms upstairs?"

"There are three."

Severus apparently frightened them enough he'd get the truth without using magical means.

"Move his things into the third, now."

He pointed at Vernon and the man complied while Severus pushed Tuney against the wall with his wand in her face. "This boy is your nephew. His parents are dead. You will care for him as you should, he is your sister's child. One hair on his head is harmed and I will know about it and you will pay for it."

He realised as he spoke, it wasn't simply his promise to Lily, there really was a desire to keep this child from undergoing anything remotely similar to the childhood he had had.

"How will you know?"

He marched up the stairs, keeping Harry firmly on his hip, noticing that the child seemed perfectly happy to sit there and attempt to chew his robes. He surveyed the mostly empty room that would now be Harry's and saw the perfect thing. A mirror. He lifted his wand, applying a permanent sticking charm followed by an enchantment that would connect it to a mirror in his possession.

"You will not be able to remove this. If you cover it up, move Harry to another room, harm Harry in any way—I will know it." He growled at them.

He hated doing it, but he forced himself to place Harry in Petunia's arms before stepped away and disapparated from the house. He had not wanted to leave Harry, he had no idea what to tell Lily since if he told her it would upset her, but at the moment he could see no alternatives.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I still do not have a beta, so if you catch something, please let me know. Thank you to all who have put this on their alert list, I hope you continue to enjoy. Reviews are always welcome.

**Three**

He strode down the corridor, his black robes billowing behind him in that way that gave the students reason to refer to him as the "bat of the dungeons", his face as stern as ever. Students parted, creating a path for him as he marched to Dumbledore's office. He came to a stop in front of the gargoyle. "Chocolate Frog."

Stepping onto the stairs, he impatiently waited to reach the top and not even bothering to knock, he burst into the room.

"How could you think of separating Lily from her son and leaving him with those...muggles of the worst kind!" He growled at the Headmaster.

"My thoughts exactly, Severus."

The potions master turned his head and noticed for the first time there was someone else in the room. Minerva McGonagall. He stepped back, crossed his arms, and glared at Albus rather than turning back to look at Minerva who continued speaking.

"Honestly, Severus, I thought you were a spy."

He didn't turn his head to look at her again, certain that if he did he would find Minerva smiling at him, teasing gently.

Albus spoke. "There is a strong protection on Harry where he is, he will be safe. As for Lily, she must remain in hiding."

"Do you really expect her to live in a cave for who knows how long and have no contact with her child? That is cruel, Albus, not very fitting of someone who claims to be on the side of light."

"Letting your personal feelings get in the way, Severus?"

He tightened his hands into fists. "I forgot, I'm not supposed to have those." Severus ground his words out from between his clenched teeth.

"Harry is safe, as is Lily. We have been over this; all that remains is to place Lily..."

Severus cut in before Dumbledore could finish. "NO. I will take care of her; she will be safe and protected."

"Very well, but she must remain separated from her child. He is protected where he is and there needs to remain. Voldemort will come for him when he returns."

Severus nodded. "Anything more on Black? Is Pettigrew truly dead?"

Albus shook his head. "Sirius Black is going to Azkaban for killing Pettigrew, even without a body. No one can find anything more than a finger from Pettigrew, and there were witnesses."

He had absolutely no like whatsoever for Sirius Black, but he had doubts that the man would betray James and Lily. The Marauders were many things, but disloyal wasn't one of them.

"Where will you hide Lily?"

Severus shook his head. "No. You were to protect them and did not. I will see to it she and Harry are safe."

The old wizard stared at him, but Severus refused to say where he planned on hiding Lily. Albus sighed and spoke again.

"And when you are here teaching? You need to allow someone to look after Lily while you are away."

"Who?"

"The Weasley's. I think Lily will get along well with Molly, and she would be safe there."

Severus continued to frown. He had met the Weasley's very briefly a few months before, or rather he had met Arthur as Molly was at home. She had just given birth to their seventh child. They were not Order members, not officially, but their sympathies were clearly not with Voldemort. Although he heard several comments about how they bred like rabbits, Arthur seemed like a nice guy who loved his wife and children and that was a good thing, if you were going to have children you should actually want them and love them. He saw nothing wrong with that. Not to mention that it really wasn't anyone's business if they wanted to have a large number of children. He knew them to be pure bloods, but Arthur certainly had not spouted any pure blood nonsense.

"I will speak to her tonight when I see her." He planned to go as soon as his classes were done.

Dumbledore nodded. "One other thing, Severus."

Snape stared at the headmaster, waiting.

"Death Eaters are being rounded up and there will be trials."

He nodded. "I am ready."

"No, I want you to be able to keep your cover for when you-know-who comes back. I have already spoken to the Minister of Magic and it has been made clear you are a spy for us, you renounced your dark ways. You will not face a public trial."

Admittedly he was relieved to hear that. Not that he feared a public trial, he most definitely did not. He just had no desire to defend himself when his actions spoke for themselves, and part of him still felt responsible for putting Lily and her son in danger.

"Thank you." He knew Dumbledore would try to get more out of him, but he would not give any more. He was willing to continue his service to defeat Voldemort, but he was not going to bring any more pain to Lily.

**XXXXXXXXX**

Lily opened her eyes when she heard the door open. Severus stood in the doorway, his black academic robe billowing around him.

"Am I disturbing you?"

She shook her head. The knowledge that James was gone was starting to feel real, she had cried silently into her pillow. She wanted to see her son. Severus was a part of the equation she still could not figure out. She forgave him, he was apparently on their side and his actions proved it to her. It was the admission of his love for her that had her confused. He said he always had. He had always been so serious, except with her. With her he would laugh, talk, smile, open up and let her see that deep down he was a warm and caring person, a brilliant and honourable wizard. He seemed to regret going to the darkside, he had returned. She couldn't think about how to proceed at all with that, certainly not any time soon. Sev would not pressure her, of that she was certain.

He sat down in the chair next to her bed. "I am allowed to take you home, tonight."

"Where will I go? Must I really remain hidden? I want to see Harry."

He inhaled deeply before speaking. "I think it would be best to hide you at Spinner's End. No one would think to look for you there. Most believe you dead and for your own protection that is best, for now. I . . . I hope you are not uncomfortable with that."

Lily had only been inside his home once; it was during the summer before their first year of school at Hogwarts. He had not come to the park when he said he was and she had walked to his home to see if he was all right. His mother had answered the door and allowed her in and up to his room. Severus had tried to keep her from seeing that he had been hurt. He claimed he had fallen down the stairs, it wasn't until later that she realised the truth. She had known his parents were completely the opposite of hers, not a matter of they were poor and her family was comfortable middle class, but that her parents loved her and his did not love him. She remembered clearly the birthday party her parents had given him, the first time he had come over for Christmas the year they had met. It was much later that she put together his treatment as a child with the treatment he received at the hands of James and Sirius. Her thoughts must have been clear on her face because he started frowning at her.

"What is wrong? You don't want..."

She shook her head. "No, Severus, it's all right. I just . . . .it's a lot to take in. I would be glad to stay with . . . . with a friend." There, she said it. They were friends again, right? Lily was rewarded with a slight smile on his lips and he visibly relaxed.

"I don't know how long you'll have to remain hidden. Auror's are busy rounding up Death Eaters and putting people on trial. It is for your safety people think you did not survive, for now. I hope that will change."

She nodded. "Harry?"

"Is with your sister."

"Sev."

He looked at her for a long moment, his black eyes revealing nothing. "I checked on him, I made sure they will keep him safe and care for him properly. I cannot promise he will get the . . . the love a child should."

Lily watched him as his voice grew a little less strong, his eyes averted from hers for a moment, maybe he was remembering the same thing she had, maybe he was thinking of his own childhood. Whatever it was, the fact that after all this time he could still allow himself to be unguarded around her was incredibly humbling.

"I want to see him."

"I will find a way. For now, we should go, it's getting late."

He stepped out of the room while she changed into the clothes he had brought for her earlier in the week.

They apparated to Spinner's End. As they walked towards his home, Lily thought the houses looked much the same, plain and depressing, night had fallen and the moon was hidden by clouds. She could tell he was watching everything around them, she did trust him to keep her safe. He had his hand around hers as they walked. He had apparated them to an alley way a couple of blocks from his house, he had explained he did not like popping in and out of the neighbourhood where someone might see.

They reached his home, the one at the end of the street, and he muttered the words to unlock his front door. Once inside she stepped out of the small entryway into the parlour. A lamp in the corner by the window lit, as did the kitchen light. She smiled, he really had always been good an unspoken magic. Shelves lined each wall, shelves she didn't remember seeing before. Books filled every available shelf in the room, a small writing table stood under the window, a mirror hung over the fireplace mantle, a worn chair sat next to the fire and an equally worn couch facing the fireplace. Lily knew he had always loved to read, but she had not imagined he would have so many books, there were even stacks of books next to his chair. She could see through to the kitchen. She could hear Severus adding to the protections on the house and remained where she was. It was masculine and severe, but she really couldn't remember that it had been anything different. Aside from the worn furniture, it looked better than she remembered.

"Are you hungry?"

She turned to find him standing behind her. "Yes."

Lily followed him into the kitchen. She couldn't do stand around and do nothing. "Where are your dishes? I'll set the table."

He turned his head and looked at her over his shoulder as though she'd grown two heads.

"I know how to set a table, Sev. I've done it before. Just because James had a house elf doesn't mean I forgot how to do things for myself."

Severus pointed to the cabinet on his right as he got bread from the bread box and opened the refrigerator. She was slightly afraid of what a bachelor might have in his kitchen to eat. The plates were plain stoneware that was a bit chipped from age, but still good. She set out two plates and found utensils in the drawer to the left of the sink. It was likely these were the same things that had been used when he was a child.

He came to the table with a loaf of bread, some cheese and meat. "I don't keep anything here when I'm teaching, I picked this up earlier."

She nodded and sat down after he'd pulled the chair out for her. He always had been a gentleman. He sat down across from her. "You'll have to go back to teaching Monday."

"Yes."

"Potions?"

"Yes."

"You always were at the top of the class in potions."

He made a noise of disbelief. "Not that Slughorn cared. You are gifted in potions as well, he noticed that."

"Thank you." She wasn't sure what to say about Slughorn, it was fairly common knowledge that he favoured students that he thought would get him somewhere or something. "I never understood why he took so much interest in me. I wasn't from a wealthy pure blood family, no connections."

Sev looked at her, his black eyes masking the surprise she thought she saw for an instant. He grabbed the glass of water he had and took a long drink and set the glass back down. "When I am gone, I expect a floo call from you every morning at 7 and each night at 7. I do not like leaving you here alone, but you are safe. No one knows where I live, and being in a muggle community, no one is looking for you."

"So I should be able to go to the store?"

"Yes. If you feel there is danger go to one of two places. You can go to the Weasley's, the Burrow. They know the situation and are Order members."

He paused and she nodded. She knew Arthur and Molly. "Or, you can floo to Dumbledore's office. The password is butterbeer. I will return some nights and on the weekends I don't have to patrol the halls."

She nodded and took a bite of the sandwich she had made for herself.

"I know you want to see Harry, but they think you are dead. I can take you over there tomorrow, but you cannot go as Lily Potter, not now."

Again, Lily simply nodded. She understood what Severus and Albus had both told her, at the moment it was better for people to believe her dead. Sev was more direct with her, letting her know he did not approve of her being separated from Harry, but at the same time making sure she understood the danger from Death Eaters. This was not over, Voldemort would return, until he was dead, they were not safe.

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your cover, your job."

"Dumbledore thinks it best I keep my cover, it will come in useful when you-know-who returns."

"But . . . but if you're found protecting me. . . ."

He held up his hand and looked at her. "I am well aware of the risks. I will protect you and Harry."

"How will I be able to see him? Polyjuice?"

Severus shook his head. "No. I will enchant you, we need only fool your sister and her husband. There is one more thing."

He rose and she followed him to the bottom of the stairs. He went up and came back down a moment later. Severus handed her a small hand-mirror that looked as though it had likely belonged to his mother.

"Harry!"

She looked from the mirror to Sev. "Thank you. How?"

He shook his head slightly. "It's a simple enchantment, and I applied a permanent sticking charm to the mirror there."

"Thank you." For a moment she wanted to throw her arms around him and hug him, but she stopped herself.

That night she laid in the narrow bed in his guest room, a room that had very obviously been his. Again, there were stacks of books. The bed was against the wall opposite the door and a small chest stood on the same wall as the door. Despite his calling it a guest room, she somehow doubted he had guests. He had always had trouble making friends. She stared at the ceiling, unable to rest. Severus had offered her a potion, but she had refused, not wanting to become reliant, even if it was in no way addictive. She missed James, she could not believe he was gone. She didn't want someone else, but she was glad to have Sev back as a friend, he had been a good one and now he could be again. Harry, Harry would grow up without a father and if they didn't get to be together he would grow up without a mother as well. She didn't care about the house, she could do without that. She could feel tears coming again and let them.

Across the hall, Severus could hear her. Part of him wanted to go and comfort her, but he wasn't sure he'd be welcome. And he wasn't sure what to do anyway, how did you comfort someone? How did she end up with James Potter? She was too good for Potter. She was too good for him. He had admitted he loved her, she had said nothing other than that she trusted him and they were indeed friends again. He could not ask for more than that, he did not deserve anything more than that.

**XXXXXXX**

Lily had wanted to use muggle transportation to see to Harry, but Severus was far more inclined to keep the fear in Petunia and Vernon Dursley. Severus won the debate after pointing out that driving from Cokeworth to Surrey would take all day and so they apparated into the Dursley home. Lily had looked at her face in the mirror after Sev had finished his spells. Her eye colour was now blue, her skin tanned, her hair black like his, her nose a little different. No one would think she was Lily Potter.

"What are you doing here!" Vernon growled.

She watched as Severus very calmly pointed his wand at Vernon. "I told you I would be checking on the boy. Where is he?"

Lily noticed that he never raised his voice, everything was in his intonation, he didn't need to raise his voice. Vernon pointed to the playpen on the otherside of the room. Lily immediately went over and lifted her son into her arms. Harry started to fuss, Lily tried to not be upset, she knew she didn't look like herself.

"YOU AGAIN!"

Lily forced herself not to react to her sister's shrill 'greeting' and instead slowly turned to see Severus still pointing his wand at Vernon, a glare of utter disdain in his eyes as he turned his head to look at Petunia.

"Tuney."

Petunia was carrying her son, Dudley, who was the same age as Harry.

"Who's that? Your sister?"

Lily saw Sev roll his eyes. "You know I do not have a sister. She is a friend."

"We're having company, go to another room if you have to be here."

"Gladly." Severus stated and gestured Lily ahead of him. Once they were safely in Harry's room, he lifted the enchantment on her.

"Mummy."

Lily bit her lip and hugged her son tighter. "Yes, it's mummy. Mummy loves you."

She knew Severus was standing behind her and felt tears in her eyes. Harry reminded her so much of James. She felt herself start to collapse, and before she hit the floor, strong arms were around her, supporting her and gently lowering her to sit on the floor. She was sure Sev put a silencing charm on the room because he didn't hush her, he let her sit there sobbing, holding Harry who had started patting her on the back. Severus started to back away, but she grabbed his arm.

"No."

She didn't know what she wanted; she just knew she didn't want to be alone. And for a man that had always been aloof emotionally and not very receptive to hugs, his embrace warmed and comforted her. He held her as she cried, saying nothing. Once she gained control of herself, she stood and Severus backed away.

"This is ridiculous. You should not have to be separated from your child."

Lily looked up at him, fire in his obsidian eyes. "Sev, Albus is right, right now it is too dangerous. What if we had to go into real hiding, I couldn't have a baby to take care of while running from Death Eaters. He is safe here. As long as I can visit, it will be all right."

He stared at her, she held on to her son and waited for him to speak. She hated it, she didn't want to be apart from Harry, but something told her that for the moment, it was best.

Severus finally nodded.

Once Harry was asleep, they left. No, she didn't like it, she knew Severus was completely against it, but something told her that for now at least, this was the right thing to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Standard disclaimer applies, it's in chapter one in case it needs to be repeated.

_In all honesty, I'm not happy with this chapter, but am posting it anyway...it may be revised later. And I promise I'm not fishing for nice reviews J _

**Four**

Lily sat on the floor with Harry, the colourful shapes that fit into the big ball according to shape spread out in front of them on Sev's parlour floor. It was Friday night. They had brought Harry here for the weekend; Severus had insisted they had nothing to worry about. Harry grabbed a triangle and tried to put it into the square hole.

"No dear, that's a triangle." She turned the blue and red ball around so he could see the triangle and perhaps make the connection.

She looked up when she saw Sev come down the stairs.

"Supper is almost ready."

He nodded and she thought for a moment he was going to just settle in his chair with a book, but he surprised her by getting down on the floor at her side. He made no comment on her cooking for them the muggle way, after all, they had both been raised muggle and he had cooked for her the second night he had been home, stating that it was much like potions. James had always laughed and reminded her they had a house-elf, but she found it relaxing to cook. Severus had been home two nights during the week. He had not once commented on her doing things the muggle way, at this point she wanted the mind-dulling work to keep her time occupied when Harry was asleep. He had taken her to see Harry both times. Both nights she had come back here with him in tears and he had just held her and allowed her to cry. She didn't know if he was silent because he didn't know what to say or silent because someone along the way had told him that 99% of the time if a woman is crying, just hold her and keep your mouth shut, but she really didn't care.

"How are you feeling?" He spoke, his deep baritone voice almost a tangible rumble.

"I told you not to ask me that." She looked at him and he cast his eyes down for a moment and nodded. She didn't know the answer. Sometimes she wanted to be alone, sometimes she wanted company, sometimes she was unbearably sad and at others she just wanted to laugh and be normal. When Minerva McGonagall had visited earlier in the week, on one of the evenings Severus had not been able to return, she had explained that that was perfectly normal behaviour for a grieving widow. It would take time for normal to return. Somehow she didn't think that would be soon.

"I wanted to talk to you about Harry."

"What? Dumbledore has come up with another brilliant plan?"

Sev shook his head, a hint of a smile tugging at this corners of his mouth. "No. I want us to bring Harry here. He'll be safe, you protected him before, it is your blood—your love – that keeps him safe. I have strong wards on this house and have added to them since you arrived; the connection to the floo network is limited by a password, and there are additional anti-apparition wards. Lily, you are miserable and so is he."

He nodded towards her son who had managed to find the triangle hole and successfully gotten the shape inside the ball. She smiled and clapped for him. "Yay, that's right, Harry!"

Harry smiled up at her, obviously pleased with himself and went after another shape on the floor.

"What if Death Eaters decide to visit?" She spoke quietly, recalling that horrible night. She had been upstairs putting Harry to bed, she had heard James yell for her to take Harry.

"The Death Eaters that are not in Azkaban are trying to please the Ministry and convince everyone they were under the Imperius. I do not think they will bother looking for Harry or you at this point. The only reason they could want you would be to somehow get to Harry, and I do not believe they would attempt anything in the near future. And, as I just said, they would have an impossible time getting inside, you would have time to escape by floo."

"Sev, you're spying on them, protecting us could cost you your life."

He took a deep breath, she wasn't sure if it was exasperation or something else. "I am well aware of that, but I really am not worried about the Death Eaters, I know what to say. And in the unlikely event one of them finds out you are here," he paused, "I have only to blame it on, well, shall we say my baser instincts, they will leave the issue alone. They have been nagging me for years to get a woman, I am sure they would be thrilled, even if . . ." He stopped.

"I'm not a pureblood."

He tensed and she could see guilt mixed with anger flicker across his dark eyes. Part of her wondered why she had been so stupid as to toss away a friendship over one horrible moment, a moment he had apologised for with absolute sincerity. She'd hurt him back, perhaps worse than he had hurt her and yet he sat there perfectly willing to put his life in danger for her and her child. He spoke again. "I could care less. And besides, I would never do that."

She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "I know that. I know you would not use me to...to simply slake your lust." She smiled, she remembered him shyly holding her hand when they were children, the very brief kiss that was the first for both of them. Something inside of her wondered if that had been the last time Severus Snape had been kissed. Shaking off the thoughts she watched him.

Severus looked at her hand and back into her eyes, his lips slightly parted like he was going to say something.

"Mummy!"

She turned her attention to Harry who was shoving the toy towards her and felt Sev stand up and retreat from the room.

**XXXXXX**

Severus faced Lily across the kitchen table. He had to admit, even if only to himself, he enjoyed the company. He knew he would not have enjoyed anyone else's as much. Even though he never knew if she would be smiling or dissolving into tears—he hoped she would eventually settle back into her normal self, but he had the sense not to say as much—he still preferred her company to others.

Harry sat in his high chair between them. The chair was the old fashioned kind, wooden with a tray that lifted up and out of the way. He was almost too big for it, but it worked for now. Harry was contentedly eating the bites of meat and green beans that Lily had put in front of him, using his fingers. The child did not fuss much, for which he was grateful and assumed he took after Lily rather than Potter.

"Sev, are you really all right with the idea of me and a small boy living here, with you?"

He put his fork and knife down and looked at her. Part of him could not believe she was asking, she should know that if he did not want her here, she would not be here. But he knew that right now her emotions were in turmoil. He attempted to smile as he spoke. "Yes. I would not have offered my home if I was not all right with you being here. I will be here very seldom as it is. I will expand the upstairs to give him a room of his own."

Lily smiled and he felt a warmth in his chest he had thought died years before. "Thank you, Sev. I . . . I will need to get him some things, I'd rather not continue to transfigure everything."

He nodded. "Understandable. I suppose we could go shopping tomorrow." Severus frowned and turned his eyes back to her when he realised she was trying to hide a giggle within a cough. "What?"

"You, shopping, for _baby things_? Please be serious." She spoke as she moved to put some slices of potatoes on the tray, Harry had finished what she had given him and was looking for more.

Taking a deep breath, Severus spoke again. "Lily, while I will not go back on my opinion that you are safe, I still would prefer you not go about too much alone. I will go with you and Harry. It will look more natural that way. Unless you would prefer someone else go with you?"

"No. We'll be fine going with you." She paused. "I was wondering if it would be all right to contact Remus Lupin."

Severus froze. Lupin. Lupin was one of them, friends with Potter and Black and Pettigrew. Although his allegiance to the Order had been proved true, he was not someone he particularly wanted to see, he had a hard enough time not thinking about Potter every time he saw Lily and Harry.

"Please, Sev. He's been a good friend." The plea in her emerald eyes was clear. "Sev, he was not, is not like James and Sirius were to you. You know that, don't you?"

She spoke quietly. He closed his eyes for a moment. He could not recall Lupin ever being the one pointing a wand at him or doing or saying anything directly, but he had been a prefect, he could have done something to stop them, but he had not. He felt a hand on his and opened his eyes to see Lily watching him, her hand over his.

"Sev, if it makes you that uncomfortable. . . ."

He shook his head. "No, if you want to see him, I shall contact him, I am certain he will want to know how you and Harry are."

"Thank you."

The remainder of the evening was quiet. He settled into his chair before the fire with a book and Lily played with Harry until it was time to put him to bed. He heard her soft footsteps coming back down the stairs and into the room. Severus kept his eyes on his book, not looking up until he heard her settle on the couch. He closed the book and set it on the table next to his chair.

"What are you reading?" Lily spoke, her eyes on him.

"An ancient volume on potions, from the middle ages, it is quite interesting. There are a few things I would like to try."

"Really? In a medieval book? May I see?"

He took his wand and levitated the book, sending it her way. She smiled at him and he wondered if she remembered him doing that when they were in school. The room was dim, the light from the fire and two lamps giving off their own soft glows. She took the book and opened it.

"Sev! It's all in Latin." She frowned, her nose crinkling just a bit. He got up and sat beside her, pulling the book into his lap.

"You know Latin."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do." He smiled at her although he was sure she probably thought it a smirk. "What does accio mean?"

She looked at him a moment. "Call?"

"Summon. What does incendio mean?"

"Set on fire."

"Right. Veritas?"

"Truth."

"Yes." He paused and stood, stepping over to a shelf and pulling a huge volume out before coming back to her. "A Latin-English Dictionary containing both classical and medieval usage, declension and conjugation paradigms. I think you will enjoy the potions book."

Lily watched him as he sat down at her side, placing the large dictionary between them. "It will be nice to have something challenging to do while Harry's napping. Thank you."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Lily checked the roast once more, it was almost perfect. She had left Harry with Severus. Sev had been nervous about the idea, but had settled into his chair with a book and Harry without complaint. Remus was due to arrive at any moment, Severus had contacted him.

"The big dog ran."

She heard Sev's deep voice intone in a somewhat ominous manner for a children's book. She stifled a laugh at the exasperated sigh that was preceded by her son's. "End!"

She knew he had closed the book. Severus wanted to go page by page to the end and Harry didn't. There was a knock on the door.

Lily walked into the parlour, picked up Harry and let Severus head for the door.

"Lupin."

"Snape."

She heard nothing else until she heard the door close and saw Remus, followed by Severus, enter the room.

"Lily!" Remus crossed the room to her and hugged her and Harry both. "I'm glad to see you both safe. I'm so sorry about James."

Lily nodded, trying to swallow the lump in her throat that seemed to form suddenly. She looked up, past Remus, to see Severus standing in the doorway, his arms crossed, concern very clear in his dark eyes. It was going to be a long evening.

Remus played with Harry, talked to her, tried to talk to Severus who responded with the shortest possible phrases. At least he was being civil.

They sat down at the kitchen table to eat, she took her place at Sev's side and Remus sat on her other side. Harry was between her and Severus.

"Snape, I didn't expect you to live in a muggle neighbourhood."

Severus looked at Remus as he sliced into the roast that Lily had prepared. "This is my family home." He took a deep breath.

Lily watched him for a moment, his countenance was inscrutable. She could not tell if he was preparing for disparaging remarks about the poor muggle community or if he was simply trying to figure Lupin out; after all she had pointed out to him that Remus had never done anything directly to harm him.

"Ah, I see. Nineteenth century, rather solidly built. They don't build homes the way they used to."

Again, she detected a slight trace of suspicion cross Severus's eyes just before he nodded in agreement.

**XXXXXX**

By the time Remus left, Lily could tell that Severus was bothered by something, something more than putting up with Lupin for the evening. She put Harry to bed in his new room. They had spent the day before shopping and setting up Harry's room. Sev had put the furniture together, using a mix of muscle and magic. James hadn't done that. She took a deep breath. "Nox." She whispered, the light went out and she crossed the hall to see Severus standing in his bedroom doorway.

"Are you all right?"

He drew in a deep breath and nodded. "I am tired and have to return to school in the morning. Nothing more."

Lily had the distinct feeling he was lying through his teeth to her, but would not push him. He would talk when he was ready to talk, not before, she had learned that when they were children.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **_The standard disclaimer applies. _

**Five**

Lily stepped back from the small tree and smiled. Perfect. She had no idea how Sev would react. So far he had said nothing as she placed a few nice flowers from the back garden on the mantle, a few in the kitchen. He'd thanked her for keeping the house clean. How he would react to Christmas was another issue. She remembered him enjoying it as a child when he had come to her home to celebrate.

Knowing his preferences, she had kept things as simple as possible. The tree stood in the parlour, where the lights would be seen through the window. Christmas holidays would begin soon and she knew Severus would return home for the entire break. She had twisted a small garland of evergreen around the stair railing and placed a few small bows. Molly & Arthur had invited them to Christmas dinner, but she had not yet answered them. Harry enjoyed playing with their son Ron who was a few months older than him. She had gone with Molly to do Christmas shopping, she had not known what to get for Sev. He didn't particularly need a new book and they were just getting to know one another again. She had finally found the perfect thing and hoped he liked it.

Harry was napping. She walked up the stairs to check in on him. She sighed when she reached his bedroom door. He was sitting on his bed, quietly 'reading' one of his books to the teddy bear Sev had chosen for him the day they went shopping. It was a small dark brown bear, very traditional as teddy bears went and Harry had become immediately attached to it.

"Harry."

He turned around and raised his arms. "Up!"

"Up, please." She said as she lifted him into her arms.

"Up peas."

She smiled. "Close enough."

He did look like James. For a moment her gaze focused on the scar he now had on his forehead. Albus had told her it was because Voldemort's curse had rebounded. Her love had saved Harry. How had she survived though? James was already dead when Voldemort came for Harry. Was it James' sacrifice that saved her or was it something else? Was it possible that the love Severus had for her was truly strong enough and pure enough to have kept her safe? Was it some combination of the two men?

She shook her head, she could not go down that particular path, not now, it was too much. She had started down the stairs with Harry when she heard the front door open.

"Severus?"

"Who else would it be?"

She smiled at the mildly annoyed baritone voice answering her. Of course it was him. Who else would be able to just walk in the front door? He never came home by floo. Lily reached the bottom of the stairs to see him taking off his woollen outer robes and hanging them on the hook by the door. He looked at her and then at the decorations on the banister before he walked into the parlour. Lily followed him, waiting for his reaction.

He was staring at the tree. He very slowly turned around and looked at her. Lily could not read the look in his eyes. "Sev?"

He swallowed. "It is . . . thank you."

Harry was squirming to be let down so she knelt and set him down. He headed for a toy that on the floor and she continued to watch Severus. "Sev, are you sure you like it?"

Severus put his hands behind his back and looked at her, his dark eyes so full of several emotions she couldn't really decide what he was thinking. He stepped over to his chair and sat down. Lily took her place on the couch, watching Harry play as she did.

"Yes, Lily. Thank you." He paused, a frown crossing his features. "You know I never had Christmas, except at your home when we were children."

"Molly and Arthur invited us for Christmas dinner."

She waited for his response. He looked away from her, towards the tree.

"Are you certain I am included in that invitation?"

"Yes, the invitation is for the three of us." She sighed. The realisation that that would not include James still seemed foreign to her.

Harry had made his way over to Sev's chair and pulled himself up, thrusting a book at him. "Up!"

"Please. Harry, say please." Severus spoke firmly and yet gently as he lifted him up into his lap and started to read the book.

"You keep saying you don't like children."

Sev looked at her over Harry's head. "I do not like dunderheaded teenagers who cannot be bothered with following the simplest of instructions." He turned back to reading. She had to smile; he seemed naturally good with Harry and Harry had not once hesitated to go to Sev. Lily had always known that Severus was different in private than he was in public; he had always been that way.

**XXXXXX**

It was Christmas Eve night. Severus remembered that when they where children, Lily had gone to church with her parents on Christmas Eve, but she hadn't mentioned it to him at all. He had finally mentioned it to her, she had looked so surprised and once again he had to bite his tongue to avoid saying anything bad about James Potter. Potter had not continued the tradition with her, despite their home in Godric's Hollow being practically across the street from the village church. And so it was, in the light falling snow, he walked with a sleeping Harry in his arms and Lily with her arm through his left, back to his home at Spinner's End.

He had tried not to hold on to his delight at the vicar's wife assuming they were a couple. He did not know them very well, he had been home when they had introduced themselves to the area—a rather old-fashioned custom – and he had provided their youngest son with a potion he had claimed was an old family remedy, well it was in a way, when the muggle doctor had pronounced that he could do nothing. At the moment, even with the child of James Potter sleeping on his shoulder, he felt an indescribable sense of being in the right place, of finally being where he should be and with the exact right person. The problem was, he was afraid Lily would never feel the same way. She had certainly accepted him as a friend again, but he was afraid to hope for more.

The reached the house and he let her in, following her inside and up the stairs to put Harry to bed. He felt her hand on his back as they stood in Harry's room.

"Thank you." She whispered from his side.

Severus frowned as he looked down at her in the dim light coming from the street lamps outside the window. "For what?"

Lily took his hand and pulled him from the room. "For coming with me, for even offering the chance to go."

"Lily, I would never keep you from doing something you clearly want to do like you do with your Christmas traditions." Her hand was still wrapped around his, he felt almost like a teenager again, uncertain as to what to do. It was most certainly too soon to try and kiss her, if they got that far eventually, he wanted to, but he knew she was not ready. He had already told himself he had to let her come to him; he did not want her to feel pressured in any way.

She smiled up at him, lightly squeezing his hand. "I know. I'm sorry I didn't accept your apology, the last two months have shown me that I really was stupid in letting such a good friend go."

Friend. Sev sighed, forcing himself to face again the fact that it was entirely possible that was all she would ever see him as. He loved her more than anything, but there was the very real possibility she only cared for him as a friend. That had to become all right with him. He felt the light pressure of her fingers around his.

"Would you like some hot chocolate? I'm not quite ready to sleep."

"Yes, I would."

**XXXXXX**

Lily woke to the smell of warm pastries. She didn't hear Harry so she rose and dressed quickly, checking to see if Harry was still asleep before making her way down the stairs. She found Severus in the kitchen, leaning over a small bowl with a bottle of vanilla in his left hand, stirring with his right. A pan of freshly baked pastries was on top of the aging gas stove.

"Can I do anything?"

He shook his head and kept stirring for another few seconds. She had to smile, for him there was no line of distinction between cooking and potion making, his manner and methodology were the same with both tasks. He finally straightened and set the vanilla down, turning with the bowl to the pastries. The bowl was filled with icing.

"I thought you didn't have any Christmas traditions?"

Sev turned his head briefly towards her as he started to lightly ice the pastries. "My mother made these when I was small, I'm not sure how these will turn out, as the recipe was not very clear on a few points."

"I seem to recall you were always good with making potions better with your own ideas and modifications, so I'm sure they will be fine." She reached around him and lifted one of the warm pastries he had just iced from the pan and smiled at him.

"The fruit will be hot."

"Thank you, Professor." She took the pastry and got a plate out before sitting at the table. He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder, as if surprised by her use of sarcasm. Lily smiled and his almost frown turned into a smirk before he turned back to his task.

**XXXXXX**

Severus sighed and stared at the Christmas tree. Lily was getting herself and Harry ready to go to the Weasley's for Christmas dinner. He had agreed to go. This morning had in some ways reminded him of the Christmas holidays he had spent with Lily and her family when they were in school. Harry had awakened a bit after Lily had eaten her pastry and she had brought him downstairs. He had not bothered to look under the tree and so he'd been more than a little surprised to find four wrapped boxes under the tree bearing his name. Two were from Lily. One was from Minerva and the other was a shock, it was from Lupin. He had opened the box from Minerva first. The woman somehow managed to find out his love of music and each year gifted him with several different recordings, from Beatles to Beethoven, she managed to choose music he did not already possess.

He had opened Lupin's gift next, uncertain what he would find. He had looked over at Lily to see her smiling; she obviously knew what it was. Severus had opened the small box to find an ancient looking volume on dark curses. He frowned.

_"Open it." _Lily had spoken and he complied, opening to find a note written on the inside cover. Remus explained that he had been thinking and now understood Sev's interest in the Dark Arts. How could one defend against something unless you knew about it? He hoped Sev enjoyed the volume and it proved useful.

Severus had then moved on to Lily's gifts. The first one was a green and silver scarf. Lily explained that she hoped he liked it, she had not seen him wear one and it was cold at Hogwart's. The second box held the biggest surprise. It was a picture of the two of them, a Muggle photo taken when they were children. The frame was simple and yet beautiful, on his side of the photo tiny green and silver snakes wound around the edge, on her side crimson and gold ribbons twisted upwards, the designs met at the top, lion and snake. She had had it custom made, obviously no one made Griffyndor and Slytherin designs that were joined.

Lily opened his gifts to her as he watched. The first was a diary with a new quill and ink set. He had spelled it so that only she could see what was written on the pages. The next gift had taken much more time to find because he had been a bit afraid of being too personal. He had finally found the silver necklace with a small emerald the colour of her eyes, it was perfect. She had hugged him when she opened it.

He looked towards the stairs when he heard her coming down the steps. He inhaled sharply. She was wearing Muggle clothes, the dark green dress fit her upper body and flared out at her waist, falling to just below her knees. Her new necklace laid perfectly against her the skin exposed by the round neckline of her dress. Harry saw him and started reaching towards him.

He took the squirming boy, but continued to stare at Lily. "You look beautiful." Again, he felt like a school boy. Her lips curved into a smile.

"Thank you. You look handsome."

Sev looked down at his clothes. He'd chosen black trousers with a white shirt and very dark blue sweater. He didn't have much that was not black, but it was Christmas. He had known Lily had chosen something from a Muggle shop to wear and had chosen to dress accordingly although they were going to the Weasley's.

They floo'd to the Burrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Six**

Lily stepped into the Weasley's kitchen, Severus and Harry behind her. The scene that met them was the normal happy chaos she now associated with the Weasley home.

"Hello Lily! Severus." Arthur Weasley smiled as he greeted them. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you too, Arthur." Lily gave the older wizard a hug and moved further into the room, holding her hand out for Sev to follow. She felt him behind her, although he did not take her hand. They walked further into the room. The entire house was decorated, a tree in the parlour and colourful garlands everywhere. There was an enchantment on the tree so that it appeared to be snowing on it. It smelled like every kind of Christmas sweet she could imagine, plus the smells of dinner cooking. Lily saw the Weasley's eldest approach them.

"You're going to be my potions professor next year?" The young red-haired boy spoke with a mix of fear and awe as he stared up at Severus. Lily noticed Severus frowning, but it was a frown of thought rather than disapproval. She had to smile, with Severus there were many different types of frowns.

"If you are starting Hogwart's next year, then yes, I will be your professor."

The boy smiled broadly, still staring at Severus in awe. "I am. I want to be in Gryffindor like Mummy and Daddy. Are you a Gryffindor?"

"No. I am the Head of Slytherin House." Severus answered quietly. Lily looked around at the Weasley's who seemed to have become very quiet. He was the youngest Head of House ever for the school and while the Weasley's had not expressed a prejudice against Slytherin's in her presence, they were still Gryffindors.

"Do I have to call you professor?"

Severus was about to answer when Arthur interrupted from behind the boy, placing his hands on his shoulders. "Bill, mind your manners. Severus, this is our oldest son, Bill. That's Charlie over by the tree with our youngest, Ron and Ginny. The middle three are here at the table, Percy, Fred and George." Lily watched as Severus looked over each of the children.

Molly came over from the stove. "Hello Lily. Severus, it's good to see you."

"Thank you for having us." Severus answered before setting Harry down on the floor. The boy made his way over to Ron who was playing with some toy next to his sister who was lying in a cradle sleeping.

"So, you grew up in a muggle neighbourhood."

Severus took a deep breath. "I did."

A smile spread across Arthur's face. "Wonderful. What was it like?"

Lily held herself still for a moment and watched Severus. He knew Arthur worked in the Muggle Artifacts Department, but she knew he was very touchy about his childhood. Arthur defused the tension that seemed to be building in Severus by asking a string of questions about telephones, televisions, and radios. Lily went to see if she could help Molly.

Severus found himself starting to relax as he talked to Arthur and they watched the children play. He could hear the older children in the other room, and Molly and Lily laughing as they finished dinner together. Somewhere in his childhood dreams, in his times with Lily and her family, this was what Christmas was supposed to be like and yet he really wasn't sure how to react to it as an adult. As a child it had been one thing to sit beside Lily and open presents and pretend for two days that he belonged to a family that loved him. Now he was an ex-Death Eater turned spy for the good side, his habits of isolation leaving him uncomfortable in the crowded Weasley home.

Then he realised what Arthur was doing. He'd pulled him away from most of the activity and was engaging him in conversation that made him think a bit without being serious. With subtlety he would not have expected from the older Gryffindor wizard, Arthur had managed to get him to relax, even if only a little.

He heard Molly call them for dinner. Severus stood and picked up Harry, who had been playing happily with Ron, and walked into the kitchen to find a table crammed with food. Lily was standing next to an empty chair she was about to pull out, but he caught her hand and pulled it out for her. The surprise in those dark green depths once again made him internally curse Potter. Surely he'd had manners enough to do something so simple. He sat down beside her, Harry in his lap for all of five seconds before the child reached for his mother.

It was after dinner when Arthur asked Severus to take a walk with him. As the two wizards walked away from the house, Arthur spoke.

"You really think he's not dead?"

"Yes. He is hiding, rebuilding his strength, but not dead."

Arthur sighed. "Bellatrix LeStrange was sent to Azkaban, but Lucius Malfoy convinced the Ministry he was under the Imperius."

Severus shook his head. "He managed to lie to them. I can promise you everything he did; he did of his own free will."

Arthur nodded his agreement and continued speaking, looking out across the fields surrounding the Weasley home. "I have to say I agree with your decision to keep Lily and Harry, while I don't think Lucius would risk imprisonment now, she and Harry are safer if they keep a low profile, and that would be impossible in the Wizarding world."

Severus nodded. It felt good to have someone agree with him, Albus had been trying to wheedle Lily and Harry's location out of him, and he'd even guessed Spinner's End and Severus had lied to him, denying it. Bellatrix and Lucius were the two people he most feared finding Lily. Bella would torture her just for 'fun' and Lucius would not hesitate to use her to get to him, knowing that she would be his weak spot. He no longer held any illusions that Lucius had been his friend. Lucius had wanted something from him, and that was all. He knew Lucius and Bella and knew what they would do to his precious Lily if they got their hands on her.

"Do you have a Fidelius charm on the place?"

"No. I have considered it although only Lupin and Minerva know exactly where I live. James and Lily were found even with the Fidelius, I realise they were betrayed, but it makes me leery of using it. I have strong wards on the place, it is impossible to apparate in or use the floo without a password."

Arthur nodded his approval, but still frowned slightly. "I would think about it if I were you. I'd be happy to be your Secret Keeper." Arthur stopped walking and looked at Severus.

Sev stopped and assessed the older Wizard for a moment before dipping his head slightly and looking back at the man. "I will consider it. I do want to take every precaution to keep them safe, but you will understand my reluctance regarding the Fidelius."

"Of course. One more thing, Severus, I think you should let one of the Auror's, an Order member of course, test your wards. I would, if I was in your position of having family to protect."

Severus stared at Arthur for a moment in disbelief. "Family?"

Arthur smiled. "You are remarkably good at hiding yourself from everyone regularly, but seeing you here today, relaxed. . . . yes, Severus, family. I can tell that is how you think of them. I hope Lily returns the feeling someday, I don't know much about you, but I think everyone deserves some happiness in life."

"Very well, Arthur. Let Moody test them, but arrange it for before I go back to school, I do not want Lily alone when it is done."

**XXXXXX**

Lily watched Severus lift her sleeping son into his arms, the boy snuggling himself against the potion master's chest. Ron and Harry had played themselves into a nap, both boys literally falling asleep on the floor with their toys. They said their goodbye's and floo'd back to the house.

"I'll take him."

"No. No sense in disturbing him." He spoke quietly and strode to the stairs and she followed him to Harry's room. She watched as he laid Harry in his cot and stepped away, allowing her room to say goodnight and tuck him in.

She emerged from her son's room and saw Sev standing in his bedroom doorway. Lily found herself smiling, if there was a textbook picture of what "tall, dark, and handsome" looked like, she was fairly certain Severus could pose for it. He would disagree, likely citing his nose and his hair as reasons for being disqualified, and perhaps he wasn't the textbook definition of handsome, but she realised that he really was handsome. He certainly filled the tall description as he towered over her, and his shoulders and chest were of a stronger build than they had been when they were in school. Dark, well, that was obvious. His black hair was long, brushing his shoulders, sometimes more shiny and soft looking than others, but it was improved over what it had been when they were younger. But then, he worked with potions all day and that was likely to do something to a person's hair. His obsidian eyes, when he allowed, were so full of emotion. Handsome? Yes, he was. She really could not deny it. Part of her felt guilty for thinking it, but it was the truth.

He stepped forward, into the small hallway that was illuminated only by the soft glow of the stairway light. "We need to talk."

Lily frowned at his tone of voice. There was something wrong. "Tonight?"

He nodded. "I do not wish to ruin your day, it is not bad news. It is simply something that must be dealt with soon."

She sighed. "All right. Would you like some tea? Chocolate?"

"Chocolate, please."

She smiled and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Her hot chocolate was special; the shaved dark chocolate was carefully melted into just the right amount of milk. Soon they settled into their places before the fire in the parlour. Lily sat with her feet curled under her, Severus in his chair.

"Arthur will arrange for Auror's to test the wards on this house. I do not want you to be alarmed; it will be done in the next couple of weeks, before I return to Hogwarts."

"I understand that. I trust your abilities, but it's not a bad idea to have someone try." She looked at him; the way he held himself told her he had more on his mind than he was saying. "What else?"

He glanced down at his feet for a moment before looking back up at her. "As you already know, Harry is quite famous in our world. I do not believe anyone would try anything to hurt . . ."

Lily interrupted. "I thought the Death Eaters were in Azkaban."

He inhaled slowly before responding. "Most of them are. A few managed to lie and escape justice. Lucius Malfoy is still free. At one time I considered him a friend, I do not consider him as such any longer, and I have not for years."

She watched Severus. She remembered Malfoy, he had been a fifth year student when she and Sev started at Hogwarts and she had seen him a few times since then. Cold, harsh, superior, he had looked down on her with undisguised hatred. Severus shifted in his chair and continued speaking, seeming to sense her unease at the mention of Malfoy.

"Lily, he is trying to stay out of Azkaban. I do not think he will do anything. I am saying this only to tell you it is important to keep a low profile. If you go to Diagon Alley, do not go alone." He paused. "I know you know that already. I do not want to make you paranoid, but I do want you to be careful."

She could see the deep worry in his dark eyes, the tension in the way he held himself. There was something else, she was certain, something he was not saying. "Thank you, Sev. I know you'll keep us safe. I trust you."

Lily watched as he frowned slightly, that unspoken question crossing his features before being snuffed out. She had a feeling she knew what it was he wanted to know, why had she picked James? Although apologies had been made and forgiveness given and accepted, she felt like part of him still hurt from the betrayal of trust, a trust she knew he had given no one before her. She was not ready to answer that.

**XXXXXX**

Severus stood at his front door, staring at Lily. Alastor Moody had tested the wards, after hours of trying they had proved strong. Alastor's parting words had been that he was glad Sev was on their side. He had also placed his home under the Fidelius with Arthur as Secret-Keeper. Now he had to leave. The new term started tomorrow.

"Let us come with you, we'll come right back here. Please? I'd love to see Hogsmeade again, and it's always so beautiful in the snow."

He stared down at her as he considered her request. He had been several places in Cokeworth and even down to London with her and Harry, but going into a Wizarding community, one so close to Hogwarts and Dumbledore, made him uneasy. He was uncertain as to whether or not Dumbledore knew Harry was no longer with the Dursley's. If he had bothered to check, he would know, but if he did know, he had remained silent to him on the issue.

"Lily."

"Oh, Sev, come on, it will be fun. I know we'll be perfectly safe, you'll be with us."

Severus sighed and nodded. "Go get ready, remember, it's colder up there than it is here."

Lily immediately turned and went up to get Harry and herself ready. When she returned, she was wearing her burgundy winter cloak and matching gloves and hat, carrying Harry who was dressed in his Slytherin green snowsuit that Severus had bought for him. Harry reached out for Sev who took him.

"He just woke from his nap."

"Good." Sev spoke as he let Lily out the door. Harry would be in a good mood and he would just hope they didn't run into anyone they didn't want to see.

Severus was glad that Lily had stomach soother in Harry's bag because when they arrived in Hogsmeade, having apparated from Spinner's End, Harry started to fuss and Sev was afraid the boy would be sick from side-along apparition. He glanced at Lily who had a now quiet Harry on her hip.

"Honeydukes?"

They walked side-by-side towards Honeyduke's. There didn't seem to be anyone from the school around, as far as he could tell it was quiet, just the villagers. The moment they walked into Honeyduke's, Harry's eyes lit up and he squirmed to get down.

"Surely you haven't been letting the boy have sweets?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Sev, I'd rather his baby teeth did not rot out. I'm sure it's the colours he's attracted to."

They walked over to the counter and Sev watched as she looked at the chocolates. Neither of them had liked sweets as much as most children, but there were certain things both of them loved. Lily tended to favour baked sweets, while he tended to favour ice cream. However, there really was nothing to equal the occasional bar of chocolate from Honeyduke's. Severus chose two.

"Candy for the boy, Professor?" The storekeeper spoke, recognising Severus although he was rarely here, only when it fell to him to chaperone the students on Hogsmeade weekends.

"No, thank you."

"Oh, but we have special candies for younglings like him. Not sweets to hurt him, just made from fruit." He held up a small bag of candy that reminded Sev vaguely of Muggle candies he had seen as a child, ones that were safe for smaller children to eat. He turned to Lily, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Just fruit juice?"

"Yes. There are some pumpkin juice flavoured ones as well, but nothing sugary."

Lily nodded. "All right then, we'll take those as well."

Severus tried to ignore her use of the word "we" and not read anything into it. He paid for the candies and the three left the store.

They walked quietly, Lily making comments to Harry as they walked and Severus keeping alert for any potential trouble. As they walked towards the Three Broomsticks, he saw a man striding towards him who was the last person he wanted to see.

"Get behind me." He hissed at Lily and she immediately stepped behind him, keeping Harry close in her arms. Severus stopped and stared at the blond man striding towards them. Severus knew he could not antagonise Malfoy, but at the same time, he would defend Lily and Harry. He knew that some day he would have to return to the Dark Lord's side, resume his role as spy, and therefore could not risk antagonising Malfoy, as much as he wanted to. But he would not let that duty come before his promise to keep Lily and Harry safe.

"Snape! Didn't expect to see you here." Malfoy smiled, coming to a stop in front of him.

Severus put his arms behind his back and met Malfoy's eyes, carefully drawing his wand, but keeping it hidden.

"I do teach at Hogwarts, Malfoy. What are you doing here?"

"I was just inquiring about a position on the Board of Governors; after all, I was cleared of all charges." Malfoy just stared at him, his cold blue eyes trying to read him.

Severus stood his ground, knowing there was no way Malfoy could perform Legilimency on him and allowed himself to smile slightly. "I heard. Good for you."

"Who is behind you, Severus?"

"No one important. I use her from time to time for . . . . errands." He paused purposefully, and watched Malfoy's reaction. The older wizard's lips curled in a leering smile.

"It's about time, Snape. Enjoy. I'll leave you to your . . . errands." Malfoy walked away. Sev turned and looked down at Lily, she was pale and holding Harry tight against her chest.

Severus didn't speak, he took her by the arms and gently pulled her into the alley space between shops and apparated them home. He got Harry settled with some toys in the floor and sat Lily down. She was still pale and far too quiet.

"Lily, what is it? What's wrong?" He had checked her quickly for hexes, for injury, and found nothing.

"He was there." Her voice was quiet; he could feel her trembling slightly under his hands which were still on her arms. He kept her cloak around her although he was certain she was not shaking from cold.

"At Godric's Hollow?"

She nodded. "I didn't remember before, but hearing his voice. Sev, he was there, he killed James. I heard James yelling at me to get Harry. Then I heard James duelling someone. It was him, it was Malfoy. He threatened to . . . . rather than kill me he said he would use me as a slave, to keep me in my place. James got angry and that's when I heard Malfoy cast the Avada Kedavra."

Lily started crying, Severus pulled her into his arms and held her, just as he had done several times over the past couple of months. Internally he shuddered as he thought of how Lucius Malfoy would have treated Lily, for he knew how the Death Eater treated his house-elves. He kept his mouth shut on his thoughts about Potter; at least he had tried to defend Lily and Harry, but losing his temper while duelling had been stupid, especially for an Auror, regardless of what was said. She pulled back from him.

"The next thing I knew, he . . . You-Know-Who was standing at the top of the stairs, coming towards the nursery. I got between him and Harry. He cursed me; he hit me with the Killing Curse, Sev. I don't understand how I'm alive and James is dead."

He sighed and just held her, searching for an answer himself. Before either of them could say anything more, a small body interposed itself between them and started patting Lily's knee.

"Mummy no cry."

Lily pulled away from Sev's embrace and hugged Harry. "Mummy's just sad right now, don't worry."

Severus remained where he was, kneeling in front of her. He knew they needed to talk, but they needed to do so when Harry was not able to listen. "I will make you some tea, just try to relax."

She nodded and slid into the floor to play with Harry.

**XXXXXX**

Lily held Harry close as she rocked him to sleep. Sev had said very little since bringing her home, but his quiet presence had helped. Her conflicted emotions were slowly coming to a head, she could feel it. When last she had spoken with Minerva, the older witch had assured her there was no timeline in grieving, there was the chance she would cycle back and forth or just go straight through from one stage to the next, for some it took only months and for others it took years.

At the moment though, as she held her son in her arms, she did not know what to think. In her heart, she still loved James. However, there were moments when she deeply regretted ever pushing Severus away. James had grown up, matured, he had been a good husband and father, but there was something about Severus that was different, a connection that had not been there with James. She wished her mother was still alive, she needed someone to talk to. Could love be different? Could it feel one way with one man and another way with another? How could she tell it wasn't just lust she felt for Severus?

Sighing, she looked up to see Sev standing in the shadows of the hallway. She knew there were times he was shy about interacting with her and Harry. At times he would just step right in, playing with Harry or feeding him or comforting her, but at others he stood back much like he had when they were in school and she sensed he was uncertain as to what was expected of him in those situations.

"You can come in, Sev. It's ok." She whispered and a moment later he stepped into the room. He walked without sound to stand beside her, looking down on Harry as he slept.

"Lily, I have to go back in the morning."

"I know. We'll be fine."

Severus lightly touched Harry's head and for a moment she thought she saw longing in his eyes, a brief flash of jealousy that was quickly extinguished. She started to stand, but he shook his head, lifting Harry from her arms without waking him and laying him on his bed, pulling his blanket over him.

Lily followed Sev from the room and walked down the stairs behind him. They took their usual places.

"Lily, what do you remember of that night?"

"Just what I said earlier. You can tell me something more?"

She watched as he sighed and was silent for a long moment.

"I will need to start at the beginning. Before bringing you here, I promised the truth, but also that there were some things I could not tell you."

"Because of your position, I understand that." Lily spoke when he glanced up at her expectantly.

"After that incident by the Lake, back in school, I did fall more heavily into the junior Death Eater club. I can give no excuses; there is nothing that can explain such a wrong decision. I wanted to belong; I was tired of being alone and thought they were my friends. Lucius Malfoy can be very persuasive."

Lily watched him as he spoke. Yes, it had been his choice, but what if she had forgiven him? Why hadn't she forgiven him?

Severus continued. "It was not until I was of age I realised the mistake I had made. I went through with getting Marked, stupidly thinking it was just a dark brand. I was sick for days, it warred with my very soul and I was sure I had just sold myself to Satan himself. For what? Friends? Attention? Fame? I already had the marks from school to work towards my Potions Mastery; I did not need them, but thought that I did. I saw no way out, I hated everything I was forced to watch, everything I was forced to do, but saw no way out except death and that did not seem like much of an escape, for I would have gone straight to Hell." He paused. "Do not look at me like that, Lily. I do believe there is an afterlife. It was not until he threatened you I was willing to risk death to do the right thing, to find a way out. I went to Dumbledore and asked him to keep you and James and your unborn child safe, I offered myself in return."

He paused once more and this time Lily spoke. "Sev, you don't have to explain."

Severus looked down for a moment and inhaled deeply before looking back at her. "Yes, I do. You need to know what sort of man I am."

"You aren't a Death Eater anymore, and that is all that matters to me." She could see the doubt in his dark eyes. "Sev, did you kill anyone?"

"No. I was able to avoid that."

"Did you use the Cruciatus?"

He nodded. "Twice. Voldemort mostly had me brewing potions for him."

"Dark potions for use on Muggles and Muggleborns?"

"Yes."

"Are there are antidotes?"

"Yes."

"Who created them?"

He frowned at her, his black eyes reflecting surprise at her question. "I did." He answered so quietly she almost didn't hear him.

"While you were a Death Eater?"

"Yes."

She stood up and crossed the room, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands in hers. "Sev, if you were brewing antidotes, I would say you were a terrible Death Eater. Your heart could not have really been in it."

"But I told him of the prophecy."

"I'm not saying you didn't do anything wrong. We all make mistakes, some worse than others. What I am saying is that your heart, and your soul, were not as black as you think they were if you were brewing antidotes right along with the poisons. You ultimately did the right thing and that is what counts. While I can see the importance of having a man on the inside, I think Dumbledore was wrong to ask such a thing of you. It is an important job, but he took advantage of your guilt."

He stared down at her for several moments, neither speaking. Severus finally took hold of her hands and pulled her up, guiding her back to the couch. "Lily, I am more than willing to do it, it is fitting penance for what I did. Someone has to do it, it might as well be me, someone they already know and trust rather than someone trying to fit their way into the group."

Lily knew she wasn't going to talk him out of feeling guilty, even if she did think he was feeling more guilt than he should have been and she was fairly certain that was a result of his upbringing. He never had taken to compliments well, criticism was normal for him to hear and although he had seemed to warm under praise from her parents, from anyone else his reaction had been to respond with what he could have done better.

"But you will be careful, I . . . I don't want to lose you too." She said it, still uncertain as to her exact feelings, but she knew enough to know she didn't want anything to happen to him.

Severus watched her for a moment and she wasn't sure what he was thinking until he almost smiled. "Lily, I promise I will not do anything to get myself killed. This does not have to be a suicide mission."

He squeezed her hands. Lily pulled one of her hands free and used it to brush his hair back from his face, her fingers touching his face briefly. Leaning forward she kissed his forehead and whispered. "I intend to hold you to that promise, Sev."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **_I apologise for taking so long to post, between work and family, I haven't had much time for writing. Hope you enjoy! Oh, I did have Severus say he was on the Slytherin Quidditch team—logic being that he refereed, so if he can fly well enough to do that, maybe he was on the team. _

**(Summer 1982)**

**Seven**

Severus took one final look about his quarters to assure himself everything was packed. He took very little with him between home and school, a few books and journals, any notes he had taken on experiments, some items of clothing. He left his trunk for the house-elf that served him while he was at school and headed for the front gates of the castle. For the first time in his life, he was looking forward to summer at Spinner's End. During his childhood, the only good thing had been Lily, after their friendship fell apart he had only dreaded the long months at home ending in a return to school where it was really no better, just different. His mother had died during his seventh year, his father had disappeared and so once he graduated from Hogwarts, he was alone in the house. His home had been a quiet and welcome refuge at times while at others feeling isolated and alone with unwanted memories.

Now, it was different. He had someone he knew was waiting for him. His friendship with Lily had been rebuilt over the past few months, and there was little Harry who had become quite attached to him. Severus left his trunk for the house-elf who served him here at school to take care of and walked out of his quarters.

He followed the longer route from the dungeons to the main doors of the castle, knowing the halls would most likely be empty; the students had already gone home for the summer, as they had left that morning for Hogsmeade station. When Severus reached the main level of the castle, he was not expecting to see Minerva McGonagall.

"Severus."

He inclined his head in greeting. "Minerva."

"Have a good summer, Severus."

He frowned; she looked like she wanted to say something more. "The same to you, are you going to your family?"

"Yes, I'll be staying here in the Highlands. Severus, I don't want to seem as though I'm prying, but . . . . don't let the past stand in your way, Lily knows how you feel about her, she just needs some encouragement."

The transfiguration professor walked away. Encouragement? He frowned and continued outside, the air of the Scottish Highlands still cool as he strode towards the front gates.

**XXXXXX**

Lily sat on a blanket, Harry and Ron running around her chasing the bubbles she was making the muggle way. The older Weasley children played nearby on the muggle playground and Ginny was content to try and catch the bubbles from her mother's lap. The air was already growing warm, but it was still nice and Molly had brought the children to Spinner's End for a picnic in the park. It was the first time they had come to Cokeworth. Lily had made certain they were all dressed appropriately so they would easily blend in with the muggles. She had left a note for Severus, knowing he was to return from Hogwarts at some point during the day and not wanting him to worry.

"Lily?"

She turned when she heard her name. Coming over the top of the hill was the vicar's wife and her two youngest children. Lily stood.

"Hello Sarah, how are you and the boys today?"

"Fine, just out for a walk in the park." She looked at the crowd of ginger-haired children.

"Sarah, this is Molly Weasley, a friend of mine and her children." Lily proceeded to introduce her to the Weasley children. Sarah's boys, Andrew and Mark were the same age as Percy and the twins. Sarah's eldest boy, the one that Severus had helped, was a year older than Bill. The boys ran off to play. Lily hoped all went well, she didn't want to have to obliviate one of the few women in the neighbourhood she had become friends with since coming back to the area.

"Harry's getting so big." Sarah spoke as she sat down on the ground with them.

"Yes, he is. His second birthday is coming up; we'd like you to come, of course."

"Of course we'll be there." She smiled at Harry who was getting sticky trying to blow bubbles on his own while Molly held the container.

The three women talked, keeping an eye on the older children as Harry, Ron, and Ginny played. The afternoon passed and it was soon time for them to get their children home and get suppers started. Molly and the Weasley children went with Lily and Harry to floo back to their home.

Lily was carrying Harry as they entered the house. The scent of roasting chicken filled the air. "Severus?" She called as she walked into the living room.

He appeared from the kitchen.

"Daddy!"

Lily looked at her son, he was reaching for Sev. Lily let him down and he ran to Sev who lifted him up. He hugged Harry and looked at her. Molly broke the silence. "Hello Severus, we were visiting Lily and Harry, and need to floo home."

"Of course, Molly, thank you." He spoke, but never took his eyes from Lily. Molly smiled and moved to lead her children to the fireplace. She stepped back slightly, looking at Lily.

"Lily, he's heard the boys and Ginny with Arthur."

Lily nodded. It wasn't unexpected, but it was still a surprise to hear Harry call Severus, 'daddy'; and she wasn't sure how he felt about it either. The Weasley's left and Severus continued to stand in the kitchen doorway, Harry in his arms.

"I . . . I am sorry he. . ."

She shook her head and held up her hand to stop him. "It's ok, Sev, really. He hears and sees other children with their fathers, and he needs a father figure. I can't think of a better one."

**XXXXXX**

The summer passed quickly, it was nearly Harry's birthday. She and Severus had slipped into a comfortable routine and Harry had grown very attached to Severus. Lily knew what she wanted to get Harry for his birthday, but it required a a trip to Diagon Alley. She found Sev sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by Harry's building blocks. Harry was busy piling several blocks into a tower. He looked up at her.

"Look!"

"Very nice, Harry." She smiled and sat down next to Severus, noticing all the blocks in her son's tower were green. In fact, all of the blocks were green and silver. "Severus, Harry needs to learn all his colours, not just green, silver, and black."

Severus frowned. "Spoilsport." He looked at the blocks, "_Reverto_." The blocks changed back into the multi-colour set they had been. She smiled at him, he used wandless magic frequently, as well as non-verbal. He was powerful, and yet his power did not make him arrogant, she knew he would never raise a hand against her or Harry.

"Sev, I'd really like to go to Diagon Alley to get Harry's birthday present, what do you think?"

He looked at her, his dark eyes showing little of his thoughts. "I will take you."

"Glamour?"

He nodded. "For now, yes, I think it is best. Will you leave Harry with the Weasley's?"

"I hate to leave him with them, eight children? I thought I would see if Sarah might watch him."

"What if he shows accidental magic?"

"I didn't think of that, so far he hasn't displayed any, but if he did it would be hard to explain and I don't want to obliviate her, even a little. I suppose I could call Minerva, if she can't we'll just go together."

Severus nodded and Lily went to make the fire-call.

Lily and Severus used the floo to arrive at Diagon Alley the next day after leaving Harry with Minerva at Spinner's End. Lily smiled at the look of surprise in his eyes when she slid her hand into his as they walked out of the Leaky Cauldron and through the entrance to Diagon Alley. He said nothing, but grasped her hand and walked into the crowd.

Lily was able to find the child's potions kit she wanted to get Harry. "He loves watching you, Sev. He'll love this."

"He does seem to like to watch; perhaps he will have his mother's gift for potions."

She smiled up at him and whispered so only he could hear. "You would love the irony of guiding James Potter's son to be a Potion's Master."

"He was rather awful at them. If Harry is good, he will have gotten it from you."

She was surprised when he walked her over to the section for training brooms and selected a young child's model that was charmed to never fly higher than the height of the child riding it. "You don't mind if he loves to fly and plays Quidditch?"

"Why would I? I was a Slytherin Chaser until I broke my arm just before the first game of seventh year and got replaced." Severus answered quietly.

Lily looked at him a moment before reaching her hand out and touching his arm. "I would love for you to teach Harry to fly. I think it's a wonderful gift."

**XXXXXX**

Lily sunk down onto the couch and closed her eyes, she felt completely exhausted. Harry's second birthday party had gone extremely well, especially considering the gathering consisted of Wizard, Witch, and Muggles who did not know about Wizards and Witches. She heard Severus' footsteps as he descended the stair and turned her head to see him enter the room.

He walked past her into the kitchen and she heard him making tea. When he emerged several minutes later, she was surprised to feel him sit down at her side, placing the tea tray on the oval coffee table.

"No bouts of accidental magic from any of the children, I would say we were successful." He almost smiled as he handed her a cup of tea.

Lily took it from him and sighed. "Harry's really grown very fond of you, Sev. He'll miss you when you go back to school."

Sev turned to her, holding his tea cup in hand. "I had considered asking if you and Harry wanted to come along, but I think you are both safer here."

Lily had to smile at his words. "We do miss you though. Are you sure we couldn't just stay in Hogsmeade?"

Once again, the look of surprise as he watched her, he wasn't used to someone missing him, even after eight months of her telling him she was glad to see him when he returned. She supposed it would take a while to overcome the years of neglect.

"Lily, I have considered it, but I do not think it would be wise."

"Does Albus know Harry is with us?"

Sev sighed. "No, as far as I can tell, he's never bothered to check on Harry."

She reached over and took his free hand in hers. "Thank you for looking after us. I don't want to think about what might have been if you hadn't stepped in."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Lily moved towards him and he set his cup down, opening his arms to allow her to curl into his embrace.

Severus held her for a few minutes before looking down to see her green eyes staring up at him. "What?"

Her cheeks turned pink as she blushed, he wanted to kiss her. Was eight months long enough? Would she be mad at him? It wasn't lack of courage, it was a well-honed sense of self-preservation that made him pause. He finally dipped his head and touched his lips to hers, half-expecting her to smack him for doing so. She didn't. In fact, she was soft, warm, yielding. Although his desire urged him forward, he pulled back, keeping the kiss simple and pure.

Lily was smiling as he looked down at her, her green eyes sparkling in a way he had not seen in a very long time.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Thank you for all the reviews and follows and favourites. I still have no beta, so feel free to say if you catch something.

**Eight**

Harry squealed with delight as he rode around the back garden on his new broom. Severus had put up a temporary charm to keep their Muggle neighbours from seeing. "Go higher!"

"Not alone." Severus spoke from his position near Harry. Lily was watching from the shade of the large tree that stood in the middle of the garden.

"Pease?"

Severus sighed and mounted his broom, taking Harry in his arms and placing him in front of him, applying a sticking charm to Harry just to be safe. Lily watched as Sev took Harry around just above the top of the fence, gradually circling higher until he was just above the trees. She knew Sev would be careful and not do anything crazy while flying with Harry. She could hear Harry squealing and laughing in delight. Severus was a wonderful father. Lily smiled to herself. She knew he would disagree, she knew he was afraid of being like his father and cited his impatience with his students. But she had watched him with Harry all summer, he was firm and yet gentle. He never shied from giving or receiving affection, even when they had gone into London together, which had surprised her.

When Sev landed he lifted Harry off the broom and Harry came running to her. "Mummy, did you see?!"

She lifted her son up into a hug. "Yes, Harry, you did very well."

Severus walked up behind Harry. "Who would like some ice cream?"

Harry turned around. "ME!"

"Lily, would you like to walk down to the ice cream shop?"

It was hot out, but not unbearable, and it would be like old times. "Sure."

A few minutes later they were walking down the sidewalk towards what was considered downtown Cokeworth. It was still a poor area, never recovered from the mill closing years before. "Sev, I was thinking I would study for my Mastery in Potions. I could do it from home and not have to leave Harry with someone or send him to daycare, which is not really an option."

"Is that what you really want to do?"

"What do you mean?" She looked up at him. He kept walking, one hand holding hers and Harry a little ahead of them.

"If it is something you really want, then do it. I just do not want you feeling as though you have to do it. My teacher's salary is sufficient so long as we are careful."

Lily squeezed his hand. She knew things were tight, and that was part of the reason she had been thinking about it, but also knew Sev wanted to feel he was taking care of them and not being like his father. "I really want to. I enjoyed that potions book you had me reading and I always loved brewing with you."

"Do you want to study under me or would you prefer another Potions master?"

"Would the Ministry accept you instructing me?"

"They administer the tests, Lily. As long as you pass the examinations and study under a Master, there is no problem."

"I'd like that."

**XXXXXX**

"So, did he kiss you?"

Lily looked at Molly. "What?"

"Dear, you and Sev have been eyeing each other and glowing all day. I'm not blind." Molly smiled.

Lily felt herself blush. "Are we that obvious?"

"I'm afraid so, but don't be bothered by it. I think you're good for each other, and Harry certainly adores him."

Lily sighed and leaned back in her chair. They had gone with the Weasley's to Diagon Alley for Bill's school things and some supplies Sev wanted and then come back to the Burrow for lunch. Sev had just left for a faculty meeting and so she and Molly were alone, Arthur kindly keeping the older children occupied while the youngest napped. "Yes, we've kissed. Nothing else though, just kissing and some cuddling. He's so good with Harry. He is so afraid he will be a bad father, I wish he could see what I do."

"He will. It takes time." Molly paused and looked at Lily. "He didn't have a very good childhood, did he?"

Lily shook her head. "No. He didn't, but he hasn't let that turn him into that type of person, I'm very proud of him for that."

**XXXXXX**

Once the absurdly long and unnecessary faculty meeting was over, Severus stood to leave. He saw Hagrid approach Dumbledore.

"Headmaster, I've got these pictures, thought Harry might like to have them."

"I'll see to it he gets them, thank you."

Severus could not resist, he turned and crossed the room to Dumbledore's desk. "May I?"

"Of course, Severus."

Dumbledore handed the photographs to Severus. One was clearly shortly after Lily and James had married, she was smiling and they were dancing around. The other picture was of the Order. The look on Lily's face reminded him far too much of his mother. He put the pictures down, keeping his expression blank. "I am certain Harry will appreciate them when he is older."

Severus spoke evenly before turning and striding from the room. He was half-way back to his quarters to when Minerva stopped him. He turned to face her.

"I need to get home."

"I know, but Severus, don't push her too hard for answers."

"I will not, I promise. I have never understood why she married that arrogant bully, but I will not try to tell her it was not love. I will; however, find out if Potter was hurting her. I know that look, Minerva."

"He was not beating her, Severus."

"Not physically, perhaps."

"Once a bully, always one? People can change." Minerva answered quietly.

"Yes, they can. According to my mother, my father was a good man who loved her, until he found out she was a witch and he changed. You still insist on thinking Potter and his bloody Marauders were good. They were not. They were bent on making life Hell for anyone that did not meet their standards of looks and wealth. Can you honestly call anything they did to me or anyone else a harmless prank of boyhood? Temporarily turning someone's hair green is a harmless prank." He growled the last.

Minerva's expression softened and she reached out to touch his arm. "Severus, I'm sorry we didn't stand up for you the way we should have."

"Filius and Pomona did, Madame Pomfrey did, but I think they were overruled."

She sighed and looked at him for a very long moment before speaking again. "I cannot take away what was done wrong. I am sorry for not seeing the bullies they were."

"It was not just me, Minerva. They did the same thing to others."

"I know, and Albus overruled any attempts to curb their behaviour or punish them." She paused. "Thank you for letting me spend time visiting Lily and Harry. I know you like your privacy."

"Lily enjoys the company. She will be busy now though, she has decided to study for her Mastery in Potions."

The older witch smiled. "That's wonderful! Good for her!"

**XXXXXX**

Severus was not looking forward to the conversation he felt he needed to have with Lily. He did not want her to feel bad about marrying Potter, and he knew she had grieved for him, and yet he could not forget the look in her eyes in that picture. The past couple of weeks he had seen her smile more brightly and truly than he had since school, not that he had seen her much outside school since their fifth year.

He sighed and stared at the fireplace in his quarters. There was a valid point to not bringing it up at all unless she did, she was happy. Then again, it did not do to leave some things buried. Maybe he would wait and see if she brought it up, after all, they were getting closer. He had kept silent with the small things that had happened that made him suspicious of how Potter treated her, and that picture showed him that perhaps his suspicions were correct.

He flooed to the Burrow, thinking Lily and Harry were probably still there. When he stepped through into the Weasley home, he was met by a very excited Lily.

"Sev, Harry did magic today!"

Severus smiled and reached out towards Harry who had seen him and was running towards him. He bent down and lifted Harry up.

"I did magics, daddy!"

"What did you do?"

Harry turned his head and looked over his shoulder at Lily. She nodded. "Go on Harry, tell him what you did."

"I got Charlie's dragon."

Severus looked over Harry's head at Lily for a moment and then back at Harry. "And?"

"Mummy said was good to do magics, but not take stuff. I got the corner."

"Well, your mum is right; you should not take things that are not yours. But magic is a good thing."

"I's like you and mummy!"

Harry hugged Severus around the neck and Sev squeezed him back, internally smiling at the thought of James Potter rolling in his grave.

He spent a few minutes saying hello to the Weasley's before departing with Lily and Harry for Spinner's End.

**XXXXXX**

Lily knew Severus had to leave for school in a week. She was dressing Harry for a trip to the park, knowing Severus wanted some quiet to work on his lesson plans for her as well as final adjustments to some of his Hogwarts classes. She knew he would probably be happier teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts or NEWT level Potions only, but for whatever reason he taught all the Potions classes, there was no longer a second instructor for the lower level courses.

"Sev, we'll be at the park."

He looked up from his place in front of the window in the parlour, parchment and books scattered around in an organisation only he understood.

"If I finish before you return, I will join you."

Lily smiled. "That would be nice."

He watched her and Harry go. It was all so normal it was almost as though it was not real, it was a dream he would wake up from and find Lily still dead and Harry with his Muggle relatives. Severus hated leaving them here, but knew they were safer, they were less exposed.

Turning back to his books, he sighed. They could visit, because of his position as spy for the Order, Dumbledore had given the fireplace in his quarters unrestricted floo-network access so he could come and go as he needed. No one would know, his students never saw anything other than his office, even his Slytherins. Unlike Slughorn, he had never permitted students into his private quarters. The Slytherin prefects knew that simply knocking would be sufficient to bring him in case of emergency.

He worked on a few last details before heading out of the house to the park.

**XXXXXX**

Severus had to leave the next morning for Hogwarts. Lily had a feeling, although he had not said anything, that he was dreading the separation as much as she was. He was upstairs putting Harry down for his nap. Severus had something on his mind, what she didn't know, but she knew he was internally brewing over something ever since he had that faculty meeting.

She had tea ready and on the kitchen table when he entered the room. He looked at her, his dark eyes revealing little.

"I will get the tea." He looked at the tea tray and it rose and moved ahead of him into the parlour. Lily smiled and followed him into the other room.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?"

He lowered the tray to the table and sat down, looking over at her. "You do not have to answer, but this has been bothering me. Were you happy with James?"

Lily shifted slightly, glancing down at her hands. "Why do you ask?"

"There are small things, and I do not know if it is simply your grieving process or if there was something . . . not right."

She stared up at him for a long moment, struggling internally with her feelings. She had thought she was in love with James, but her feelings for Severus were so different, so much more powerful that now she wasn't so sure. Severus offered protection without being overbearing, he offered himself instead of only taking. He was quiet; he did not like to be the centre of attention although he was happy to accept attention and compliments in private, the stern exterior was just that, an exterior to keep the world away. She could not quite say it out loud, but inside she wondered what she had been thinking pushing him away, what might have been different if she had accepted his apology. The only good thing about her marriage to James Potter was Harry.

Reaching out, she put her hand over his. "At first I was. Later, well, something changed." She looked into his dark eyes. "He never hit me, Sev, I would have left him if he had, it wasn't that. I promise."

He nodded. "Good."

Some of the tension seemed to leave him and she assumed that was what had been bothering him, her relationship with James. They finished tea and realised the house was still quiet, Harry still asleep in his room.

Lily shifted positions and leaned against Sev, he dipped his head and his lips met hers. The kiss was slow, filling her with sweet warmth. She felt his hands move up her back and slipped her hands up between them, touching his chest as she moved to put her arms around his neck. It had never felt like this with James. Sev's kiss was giving, his touch intended for her, the way his hands moved along her back was not a way of practised ease or possession, but of a restrained and powerful passion...for her. She parted her lips in an effort to encourage him to deepen the kiss.

He took the hint.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed. I hope you continue to enjoy. I will be changing the rating to M to be safe for later chapters, I do not intend to be graphic, I just want to be safe.

**Nine**

Severus watched the First Years process into the Great Hall. Bill Weasley was easy to spot; the boy was smiling broadly and even waved at him. Severus nodded in acknowledgement and glanced over at Dumbledore to see him cast a puzzled look between him and the eldest Weasley child.

The Sorting progressed as normal, Severus was glad there were no Death Eater spawn in this class. He did what he could to curb the pureblood propaganda in his House without raising suspicions. He watched as a girl with light brown hair hopped up on the stool, a Muggleborn. She was placed in Slytherin, he watched her walk over to the table where she was greeted by the two First Year boys and a few of the older students. He would repeat his 'Slytherins stick together' speech tonight.

It was Weasley's turn. Bill hopped up on the stool. Dumbledore likely expected the boy to be a Gryffindor and Severus would have agreed, except that over the summer the child had expressed more of an interest in each House, including Slytherin. Bill did have certain Gryffindor traits, but there were some things that did not fit, he was more thoughtful before reacting for one. He thought, he liked puzzles and taking the time to solve them in a logical manner, but at the same time he also had traces of becoming a man that followed his own drum rather than the group, he definitely had an independent streak.

Then the Hat spoke. "SLYTHERIN!"

Severus masked his reaction in drink from his water goblet, but could feel Dumbldore's eyes on him. The moment passed, Bill making his way happily to the Slytherin table where he was greeted and took a seat next to the Muggleborn girl.

Severus' mind began to wander to the other issues at hand. Like what to do when Dumbledore figured out Harry was not where he thought he was. Lily could not remain 'dead' indefinitely, they had managed a quiet life in Muggle Cokeworth, but he knew he could not keep her under a rock. She was safe at Spinners End, the question was more about what to do when people figured out she was not dead. Death Eaters, that was easy, they would believe he was using her and leave it alone. He only had to keep her safe from those like Lucius and the Lestrange brothers who would want him to 'share' her and he would kill them before letting that happen. Lily was safe where she was, no one would betray her location this time.

Before he knew it food was in front of him. After dinner, he started to head for the dungeons after his students when he heard Dumbledore behind him.

"Severus. A word."

"Headmaster, I need to get my students settled, afterwards perhaps?"

"Of course." Dumbledore smiled, but Severus did not believe the smile, he knew Dumbledore was not happy.

He strode from the Hall and found his students right where he expected them to be, their Common Room. He took a moment to look at each of them, his Seventh Years in the back, his First Years standing quietly near the Prefects. Severus crossed his arms.

"Welcome to Slytherin, First Years."

There were six, four boys and two girls. Bill was the only one that did not look like he was going to eat them alive and he wondered what the older children had been telling them.

"My rules are few. I expect you to behave yourselves; Slytherins have a reputation for loyalty, even if you cannot get along in the common room, I expect you to do so outside this room and your dorm. I do not tolerate bullies, if you have enough free time to cause harm to others, I can fill that time with some meaningful task. If you are ill or there is a problem, please go to a Prefect, if necessary they will come and get me." He continued his speech, introducing the Prefects and handing out their schedules before dismissing the older students, except for his Seventh Year Prefects. He then had the First Years sit down on the floor and joined them in a circle. "You should all be proud to have been placed in Slytherin House. We are a noble house with a proud history of producing some of the finest Potions Masters and Mistresses, Healers, Aurors, and even a few that have also excelled in the Muggle world."

The Muggleborn girl, Chloe Carter, gasped. "Really?"

"Yes. I can tell you about them later, for now, you are in a House that values ambition, determination, pride in one's work, we are loyal, we are brave but do not rush into situations without thinking and planning. There is nothing wrong with ambition and determination, it is how they are used, your actions, that make them good or bad." He looked at each of them, knowing none of them were from families with leanings towards Voldemort. "I hope that you will each work hard and make your parents and me proud of you, proud to be Slytherins."

They each nodded.

"Now, go and get a good night's rest. You have your first classes in the morning."

"Yes sir." They stood and the Prefects led them to their dorms.

Severus stood and left the Common Room, choosing to walk to the Headmaster's office rather than floo. He arrived in Dumbledore's office and found the elder Wizard sitting at his desk.

"Severus, you wouldn't know why a Weasley was Sorted into Slytherin, would you?"

Severus clasped his hands behind his back and stared at Dumbledore. "As I understand it, the Hat places a student based on his or her personality and innate characteristics. Apparently Mr. Weasley is a young man with ambition and determination, will, strength of mind and spirit."

Dumbledore looked at him; Severus kept his mind quiet, presenting Dumbledore with nothing useful as he tried Legilimency on him. Really, he had to know Severus was strong enough to resist, he had no idea why the elder Wizard bothered. "I suppose so; keep an eye on him, will you?"

"I will look after him as I do all the students in my care."

Severus swept from the room and returned to his quarters.

**XXXXXX**

Lily had passed the day quietly, reading and preparing to brew her first potion since leaving school, and playing with Harry. She planned on taking Harry to see Sev for dinner. They had decided to keep the same routine of her calling and him returning at least one night a week and on weekends when he could. Severus had told Lily that the Potter fortune was being held in trust for Harry's schooling and then once he was of age, it would be fully his. That was fine; she knew Severus would never accept a knut of Potter money.

Once it was time to go, Lily held Harry in her arms as she stepped through into Sev's quarters. Severus smiled and stepped over to her, taking her hand and giving her a kiss on the cheek before turning to Harry.

"How has your first week back teaching been?"

Severus shrugged. "Not bad. Are you ready to brew the draught I had planned for your first lesson?"

"Tonight?" She had studied it, but had not expected to brew it under his direct supervision.

"Yes. Unless you would rather not brew with me." His voice got quiet, sometimes she forgot he still had a few lurking insecurities.

"Of course I'd love to brew with you, it will be like old times. After dinner, then?"

He nodded. "I gave the excuse of needed to brew for not showing up at dinner in the Hall tonight. I do need to brew a few things for Madame Pomfrey's stores, so it as not a lie."

"Hungy!" Harry interrupted.

Severus looked at him. "Harry, you know better than to interrupt adults."

"I sawy."

"I am sorry."

Harry frowned. "I m sorrrrry." He repeated, putting all his energy into the r's.

"Much better, and I believe dinner is ready."

Lily walked beside Sev as he carried Harry out of the parlour and into the small kitchen/eating area. She was unsurprised to find his quarters very simply decorated. Most of the furniture was Victorian period, dark, very masculine.

He had her and Harry sit down and she watched as he pulled their dinner out of the aging stove that was a much older version of the small one that graced their kitchen at Spinner's End. She could tell this one was wood fired instead of gas adapted as the one at Spinner's End was.

"You cooked!"

He set the dish of Shepherd's Pie on the table. "Yes, I did not want the house-elves around. I hope you like it."

"I'm sure we will."

Dinner passed in much the same way it did at Spinner's End.

Afterwards, they settled Harry playing with a few toys in a corner of the lab that Sev warded to keep him there so he wouldn't get into anything he shouldn't. Severus unlocked the closet where he kept his personal stores.

"Gather what you need and begin." He gestured to a spot not far from where his own cauldron was sitting.

Lily set her book out on the table and reviewed the ingredients list. She could tell Sev was watching her as he went about setting up to do his own work. Setting out the things she needed, she set about chopping the roots. He walked past her and she felt him stop and place his hand over her right hand.

"A little finer, like this." He took the small blade and chopped slowly. Lily inhaled deeply, his nearness was distracting.

She turned her head and looked at him. "Thanks."

He looked down at her, releasing her hand, and nodding before turning to his brewing. Severus put his focus into his brewing, occasionally checking Lily's progress, trying to control the flame of desire that burned more brightly with her presence.

"Sev, it's simmering."

He stepped over to her, his own brews in their simmering stage. He looked down into the brew. "It looks good."

Lily smiled and went over to Harry. Severus went back to check on his brews and pull out the assignment he wanted Lily to complete during the week. Lily was back at her cauldron, stirring gently and adding the next set of ingredients. Her hair was pulled into a French braid, she was wearing a Muggle skirt and top that showed her figure without being overly revealing.

Her brew was at a critical point.

"Mummy!"

Severus shook his head, pointing her to her cauldron and going to Harry. He lifted Harry up. "I will take you to watch your mum, but you must watch quietly. She is making a difficult potion, can you just watch?"

"Yes."

"All right then." He carried Harry to where Harry could watch safely. Lily looked up for a moment and smiled before turning back to her work.

When Lily's potion was done, she took Harry and moved to watch Sev test it. She watched as he decanted some into a vial and took it over to where he had been brewing. He looked up at her. "It looks all right, I need to wait two hours before testing it."

She nodded. "It's getting late, I should get Harry home."

He walked her back into his quarters, Harry nodding off on her shoulder. "I will take him and floo back with you." He lifted Harry into his arms and they flooed to Spinner's End. They put Harry to bed and Lily followed him down to the fireplace so that Sev could return. Lily took his hand as they came to a stop, he put his hands on her waist and pulled her close, bending down to kiss her. She had teased him a bit, wondering where he had learned to kiss so well. When they broke apart a few minutes later, they were both breathless. She looked up at him, his dark eyes were lit by desire.

"Good night."

He swallowed hard. "Good night."

**XXXXXX**

Lily couldn't sleep. Sev had been able to come for the weekend. They had spent the last two months having dinner together a couple of nights a week and a couple of quick weekend visits. He had watched her brew; he had given her readings and asked questions that made her think beyond her readings. She loved every moment of his company, as did Harry. Severus was wonderful with him. Lily turned over again, facing the doorway. She was aware of Harry's even breathing from the nursery and Sev's tossing and turning in his room across the hall. She knew he rarely slept well, but he seemed worse than usual. His breathing was starting to come in gasps. She got up and walked across the hall, standing in his doorway.

"LILY!" He yelled and she went to him, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Sev, wake up, you're having a nightmare." She spoke quietly, by some miracle Harry had not been awakened, she had not put a silencing charm on his room, she wanted him to be able to sleep naturally, no reliance on everyone being quiet or magic to get to sleep. Lily touched his face, pushing black strands of hair out of his eyes. "Severus, please, wake up."

She felt his long fingers lock on to her hands.

"Lily?"

"I'm here. You were having a nightmare." She sat down on the edge of his bed.

He stared at her for a long moment before touching her face. "You are really all right?"

"Yes. I'm fine. What was it?"

He shook his head. "I . . . it was. . . I keep seeing you dead."

Lily stroked his face, tracing his jawbone with her fingers. She leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, pulling away just a little. "I'm here, Sev. I'm not going anywhere; you are keeping Harry and me safe. We are fine."

He reached up and she felt his long fingers on her face, tracing her features, kindling a warmth that started at her centre and spread. She leaned in to kiss him again, touching his face and moving to his shoulders, which were bare. Lily found she could not resist touching him, feeling the warmth of his skin under her fingers, feeling his hands on her body as he reached for her, softly running his hands over her arms and then her back, pulling her closer.

Severus touched her face again, but his hand came away wet. "Lily? Did I hurt you?"

He could feel her shake her head. "No, you didn't. It's . . . I never felt this way with James. If I had accepted your apology. . . ."

He cupped her face in his hands. "Stop. Do not do that to yourself. You would not have Harry if there had not been a you and James. Do not second guess, we both made our choices then and this is now, we both need to go forward with what we have, stop worrying about what could have been."

Lily remained still as he traced her face with his fingertips. She leaned in slightly and touched her lips to his. A few minutes later, they broke apart.

"I should go back to bed."

He inhaled deeply and nodded. "Yes."

Lily smiled, his already deep voice had deepened from desire. He would not take advantage of the situation, she knew it and loved him all the more for it. "I love you." Placing one more kiss on his lips she pulled away and returned to her room.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Ok, here it is….a word of warning in addition to the "M" rating, there is sex at the end. While I do not consider it graphic-to me graphic=anatomy lesson and I don't do those, if you know what I mean by that-some may still be uncomfortable and that's fine, feel free to continue to read through the solid line of XX's. It is the last scene, so you aren't missing plot if you stop there.

**Ten**

Two more weeks and Severus would be home for the Christmas holidays. She had been shopping Muggle London with Sarah, but needed to go to Diagon Alley. She knew Sev would have frowned on the venture, but she figured she would be safe enough as crowded as it would be and she left Harry with Sarah, hoping he didn't do anything unexplainable. She wanted to talk to Severus about gaining permission to tell Sarah and her family about the Magical world, she was sure they would understand and it would simply things greatly.

She faced Molly, who was frowning at her. "You're sure about this?"

"Molly, no one is looking for me, it's Harry they would be looking for. I only need to go into Flourish and Blotts."

"And it isn't something I can pick up for you?"

Lily sighed. She knew Molly was being her normal protective self, but she wanted to go herself. "Molly, come on, it will be fine. Just a quick trip to one store, that is all."

The older witch smiled. "Oh all right, let's go."

Lily didn't bother with a glamour, hoping the holiday crowds would be enough, no one was looking for her, they would have noticed Harry. They flooed to the Leaky Cauldron and made their way into Diagon Alley. They made their way through the crowded street to Flourish and Blotts.

Molly went to look for something for Bill, Charlie, and Percy while Lily looked at the journals. She wanted to get Severus a nice one, she had noticed he kept his notes in student notebooks and thought he deserved something nicer. She picked up one that was a deep green, leather bound.

"Well, if it isn't Lily Potter."

Lily froze. It was Malfoy. Her wand was not easily accessible, but they were in a public place, what could he do? She turned very slowly to face him.

"Malfoy."

His cold gaze and white blond hair were exactly as she remembered. He looked on her with unconcealed lust and hatred.

"Where is little Harry?" He smiled, speaking quietly and with an air of concern.

"Somewhere you'll never find him." She answered, but suddenly the store seemed empty. He stepped forward, forcing her back against the shelves. Lily fought against the panic that was rising in her, threatening to overtake her reason. Lucius was not stupid; he was not going to hurt her in a public place. She struggled to remind herself even as she felt the tightness of panic in her chest.

"Why would I be looking for him?"

"For You-Know-Who."

He looked affronted. "Now, now, no need for such accusations, I am not a Death Eater. I'm glad to see you are well, Mrs. Potter." He turned and left.

Lily remained still for a moment, watching Lucius retreat to another part of the store. Molly came around the corner.  
"Lily! Are you all right? What happened?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm fine. Lucius Malfoy saw me, he knows I'm alive, but I don't think he'll do anything, he can't and keep the story that he was under the Imperius, at least for now." She paused and held out the journal. "Do you think Sev will like it?"

Molly looked at it. "He'll love it, I'm sure." It was her turn to hold out books. "I got these for the boys."

She looked over the books, there was basic book on curses and breaking them that was obviously for Bill and a book on Dragons of Britain for Charlie.

"I couldn't find anything that seemed right for Percy. He's gotten this rat he wants to keep as a familiar; I suppose I could get him a book on magical creatures."

"A rat?" Lily frowned.

"I know, strange, but he seems to be a special one, so Arthur said it's all right, we got him a cage. As long as he doesn't get into my kitchen!"

**XXXXXX**

Severus was in his office; it was nearly time for Bill Weasley to arrive for his weekly 'Potions tutoring' that was really Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons. The boy wanted to be a curse-breaker and he certainly showed an aptitude for it. While this year's DADA professor was knowledgeable, he bore the standard distrust of Slytherins and had not answered Bill's questions sufficiently or challenged him when he seemed beyond the level of the rest of the class. And so Severus had stepped in, as he had with some of his other snakes, and made a weekly time for the boy to be 'tutored in Potions'.

There was a knock on his door and he looked up from the essays he was grading. "Enter."

He was surprised when Lucius Malfoy strode in. Severus remained where he was. "Lucius."

"I was at Flourish and Blotts today and ran into someone unexpected."

"Really?"

"Lily Potter. You wouldn't know anything about her whereabouts, would you?"

Severus stood and walked around his desk to face Lucius. "If I did, I would not tell you. I do not engage in your …. perversions …. and you know it." He knew he was pushing just a bit, but he wanted to make sure Malfoy stayed away from Lily.

Lucius stared at him, his blue eyes calculating. "That woman you had with you last year?"

"I told you, no one important."

Lucius half-smiled. "I suppose that if you have managed to claim your precious Lily, you would be reluctant to share. However, there will be a time you will be asked to do so. Saying no would not go well."

Severus stood straight and crossed his arms against his chest, glaring at the other Wizard. "Neither would your time in Azkaban if you are overheard, you idiot. You think the headmaster would not figure out of what you speak? He knows everything that goes on here. You really should leave. Now."

Malfoy said nothing further and left the room. Severus sank back into his desk chair. One good thing had come of the conversation, and that was that there would only be one time that he would be forced to comply with such an order, if that order was from Voldemort himself. His suspicions were correct; Voldemort did have a way to return.

He had been thinking of proposing to Lily, thinking of having a family, that is was possible for him to be a good father unlike his own. Now he was uncertain, how could he marry her and protect her and Harry? Their marriage would have to be secret. Children? What was he thinking?

A few minutes later there was another knock on the door and Severus sat up straighter before calling, "Enter."

Bill Weasley came in, frowning deeply.

"Hello Professor Snape."

Severus looked at the eldest Weasley child for a moment. "Is something wrong, Bill?"

Bill sat down in the chair facing him. "I saw Mr. Malfoy in the corridor, he said I wasn't worthy to be in Slytherin, then he said somethings about my mum and dad that made me mad." The red-haired boy looked hurt as well as angry.

"Bill, try to ignore what he has said to you." Sev stood and walked around to stand beside him, kneeling so he was eye-to-eye with Bill. "I know words can hurt, far more than someone physically hitting you, but he is wrong. You are a fine addition to Slytherin, you are at the top of your classes, you are a leader rather than a follower, and you show good judgment and also compassion. As for your family, you have a family to be proud of, let no one discourage you from that, ever. Your family may be poor, but you are rich in far greater treasures than the Malfoy's will ever have."

Bill nodded. "Yes sir."

Severus stood. "Do you have any questions for me or do you want to start where we stopped last week?"

"No questions, yet, sir." Bill smiled.

"Very well." Severus opened his own copy of the text they were using, forcing his attention on teaching rather than his desire to check on Lily and Harry.

**XXXXXX **

Lily walked to Sarah's just as soon as she returned to Spinner's End. Molly had tried to distract her, but it had not worked well. She wanted her baby and she wanted Sev. She knocked on Sarah's door and a moment later Sarah appeared and opened the door, holding Harry.

"Mummy!"

Lily took him and held him tight. Sarah frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

Lily found herself unable to lie. "Yes and no."

"Come in, it's almost time for tea and I have a peach custard ready."

Lily entered the house, an architectural copy of Sev's, and followed her to the parlour where she sat down with Harry in her lap. Sarah entered a few minutes later with a tea tray.

Once she had a cup of tea and slice of the custard and Harry was settled with some milk and some cut up peach slices, she looked at Sarah, not even sure what to say, Sarah was a Muggle and unless she got permission to tell her, she couldn't.

"I ran into someone today while I was shopping that I wish I hadn't. He was a seventh year when Sev and I were first years, he hated me and he would look at me in a way that made my skin crawl. He recognised me."

"What did he want?"

"I don't know, I'm just glad I was somewhere crowded. I'm a little worried about telling Sev though."

Sarah frowned. "Lily, don't be, trust him. He's a good man, Mike and I have known him since we moved here. I'll admit at first I wasn't sure, but after he found out Matthew was sick, he came with a natural cure that cured what the doctor couldn't. After that, he's been a good neighbour and even friend. He can be distant and he likes his privacy, but he wants to protect you, let him. He does it the way a man should—without being overbearing and treating you like you're stupid, right?"

Lily had to smile, that was Severus. "Yes. He isn't at all like James was."

"Trust your heart, Lily."

**XXXXXX **

Lily got back to the house and heard something upstairs. She knew she and Sev were the only ones that could get through the wards. Still, she drew her wand, holding Harry on her hip.

"LILY!"

She released the breath she'd been holding and nearly ran up the stairs to find Sev in the hallway. Before she could speak, he pulled her and Harry into his arms.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, we're fine."

He relaxed. "I saw Malfoy today, he said he had seen you."

"I went to Diagon Alley with Molly. I had hoped with the crowds, I would be unnoticed, but he saw me. He didn't threaten me or anything, he tried to act like he was concerned for me and Harry."

Severus sighed. "That is not the conversation he had with me." He stepped back a little and looked at her and Harry. "I have to get back to Hogwarts. I will see you tomorrow night."

"Sev, what did he say?"

He glanced at Harry and shook his head. Leaning forward, he gave Harry a kiss on his forehead and then a simple kiss on Lily's lips.

**XXXXXX**

Severus returned to the school to find a note from Dumbledore requesting his presence. He had a feeling Malfoy had gone to Dumbledore. He would have been very nice about it, saying his concern was for Harry, but he was trying to find them. Sev had every confidence in his wards; he knew Arthur would never betray them.

He entered Dumbledore's office. "You wished to see me, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and stared at Severus. Sev remained calm, his hands clasped behind his back, waiting.

"Severus. Lemon drop?"

"No, thank you."

"It has been brought to my attention that Lily Potter is with you. I do not think this is the best thing, far too dangerous for her. Bring her here…."

"No. I know where Lily is, yes, but I will NOT bring her to you or anyone else. She is safe where she is. You promised to keep her, James, and Harry safe and you failed to do so."  
"Where is Harry?"

Severus glared at Dumbledore. "No. He is safe, that is all you need to know."

"He needs to be with family, he was safe with the Dursley's."

"Did you ever bother to check on him?"

"I didn't have to. Petunia is his aunt, family takes care of family."

Severus held his temper in check. Perhaps that was how it should work, but it did not always, and he knew that all too well. "Petunia Evans Dursley hates magic; she called her sister and me freaks when we were children. She would not have treated Harry well, he is safer where he is, and he will grow up knowing love."

"He has a purpose in this war, and needs to be prepared, not pampered."

Severus held his hands in tighter fists. "Abuse does not generally give rise to love and loyalty. Harry Potter is not a pawn, he is a child."

"He would not have been abused, discipline is not abuse. Tell me where he and Lily are, Severus. You are supposed to be a Death Eater. What about your cover?"

"My cover will be fine, and I will not tell you where they are, they are safe. Harry would not have been all right with the Dursley's and Lily is safe as well."

Albus had the nerve to smile at him. "You're letting your personal feelings get in the way, Severus. You need to see the bigger picture."

Severus glared at the old Wizard. "If by that you mean I can recognise abuse when I see it, than perhaps I am letting my feelings get in the way. You are blind to it, and you always have been. Harry and Lily are safe and I will say no more."

Dumbledore looked furious. "Very well, Severus."

He knew as he left Dumbledore's office, this was not over.

**XXXXXX**

Severus arrived home the next night to find Lily alone in the parlour. "Where is Harry?"

"With Minerva, she was dying to play grandmum and I thought it would be nice to have some time just adults." She smiled.

He looked at her, a little uncertain as to her intent. Severus sat down beside her. "Just us?"

"Yes." Lily moved over to sit closer and he wrapped his arms around her. "How was your day?"

Severus frowned. "Not good. Dumbledore knows Harry is not with the Dursley's. He wanted to know where you are, I would tell him nothing. It did not go over well."

"I would imagine not. Anything else?"

He shook his head. He did not want to go into detail about his conversation with Malfoy, thinking about it was the last thing he wanted to do. He held her a little tighter and she let him, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

"Are you sure? Sev something is bothering you, you never did tell me what Malfoy said."

She looked up to see the corners of his mouth curve downwards slightly. "It is nothing for you to worry about."

Lily shifted so she was looking at him better, putting her arms around his neck. "Sev, you came home to check on me and were panicked. What did he say to you?"

He sighed and touched her face, running his fingers along her jawline and then back into her hair. "He wants you. I will not let him near you, Lily. I will keep you and Harry safe."

She snuggled a little closer to him. "I know you will, Sev. But why? Doesn't he think I'm a . . . a mudblood?"

Severus hated that word. "Do not use that word, please. And, yes, but it is about power and dehumanising. To him, you are an object to be used." Severus held her a little closer.

"I just wish this was over."

"So do I."

Lily sighed. She wanted this to be a good time together. She was not sure why Severus continued to hold back, but she felt ready to go forward. It had been a little over a year since James died and her feelings for Severus were so completely different. "I have dinner in the oven, it will be ready soon."

"It smells good. What is it?"

"A surprise."

"A surprise?" He leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. After a few minutes the timer rang in the kitchen, she moved away from him, smiling.

"Stay here." She got up and went to finish dinner.

Severus waited patiently, picking up a book to read. When he heard her call him, he walked into the kitchen. He had thought the scent coming from the kitchen was familiar. In the centre of the table there was a roast chicken, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots. The spices were his mother's, she had her own way of seasoning the chicken and he had loved the rare treat.

"I hope you don't mind, I found your mum's book of recipes a while back. She had this one hand-written, I figured it was special."

He nodded. "She made it when she could, the last time was when I made O's on my NEWTs."

"Then you don't mind?"

"No, of course not." Sev pulled her chair out before taking his own seat at the table.

After dinner they went to sit in the parlour, Severus put a recording of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony on his turntable and sat down beside Lily, pulling her into his arms.

Lily felt the warmth of his lips on hers and put her hands around his neck, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss. She felt his hands moving along her back, finally sliding under her top to touch her skin. A gasp escaped her lips at the warmth his touch caused, the fire that kindled in her centre and spread. She returned the favour, smiling as he unconsciously shifted his position, allowing her easier access to his chest. Lily wanted to see him, she started to push his shirt away when he caught her hands.

He was staring at her, Severus shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I do not want you to see . . . you just should not see."

Lily touched his face, leaning against him. "Sev, there is nothing about you I would reject. What is it?"

He frowned and sat up, turning away from her and pulling his shirt over his head. She had to stifle a gasp. His back was badly scarred; he had very obviously been beaten with a belt or some similar instrument. Severus looked over his shoulder at her, his dark eyes filled with a fear she had never seen there before. Touching his shoulders, she got him to turn back to her.

"Sev, was it your father?"

He nodded. "Mostly."

She was tempted to ask why his mother had not healed him to prevent scars, but thought better of it, clearly his mother had not been able or allowed to use her magic to help her son, or she had not cared. Leaning forward, she kissed him again, pulling away just enough to speak.

"I love you. Nothing can change that. You've been a wonderful father to Harry and I know you would never hurt me or Harry."

He stared at her for a moment. "But. . ."

"What? You are not your father, you would never be like him, if that is what you're worried about."

"A little, yes. I do not want to harm you or Harry."

"You won't." Lily looked at him for a moment. "There's something else."

Severus finally nodded. "I want us to be together, but . . . it seems impossible at times, especially with Malfoy lurking."

She shifted and leaned back against him, feeling the warmth and comfort of his now bare chest against her. He tightened his hold on her. "Sev, don't do that. Don't let him keep you from having what you want. What is it you want?"

He held her close. "You, Harry, a half a dozen little Snapes….but there's a war looming."

"People get married with wars looming all the time. We'd have to get married in the Muggle world rather than the Magical, but I don't mind. It's been over a year Sev, I love you."

"I love you." He paused. "Would you marry me?"

Lily smiled up at him. "Yes."

She leaned in and kissed him again, before they knew it, they were stretched out on the couch, Lily on top of him. She felt his hands start a hesitant path up her legs, she willed her own desires into submission, trying to give him time to explore. She finally felt the gentle brush of his fingers right where she wanted it; she moved just enough to part her legs a little more, giving him better access. She kissed him deeply and moaned into his mouth as she felt skin on skin, his fingers using the background rhythm of Beethoven's symphony to caress her.

She reached for the waist of his trousers, but he stopped her.

"Sev, please, let me."

He shook his head. "No. I remember when we were in school, you wanted to wait."

"Severus, honey, I'm a widow with a two year old child…it's a little late."

He rolled his eyes. "I know that . . . but, did you get to wait?"

Lily looked at him, unexpected tears springing to her eyes as she slowly shook her head. She felt his hands on her face, brushing away the tears.

"Did he hurt you?"

"The first time always hurts."

"Lily."

She took a deep breath. "He did not force me, Sev. He just . . . he said it was ok, we were engaged and we got carried away. I guess."

Severus wanted to curse James Potter, but gritted his teeth. No, maybe Potter had not used physical force, but he had coerced her and in Severus' mind that was just as bad as using physical force. He had to have known Lily's desire to wait and he had ignored it, forcing his own selfish needs on her, rather than putting her first.

He moved out from under her. "Lily, I've waited this long for you, would you mind if we waited until our wedding night for more?"

"You . . . you waited, you mean you haven't. . . . for me?" Lily stared at him, on the outside and to the world Severus was severe and unyielding, a man that was brutally honest in his assessments, who was considered harsh and distant and yet the man she had grown to know again was more than those things. He could be tender and loving, he was thoughtful and considerate, he was everything she could have wanted and once more that thought of what could have been came to her, but she pushed it aside, mindful of his earlier advice.

Severus nodded. "It was not easy, especially among the Death Eaters, I was harassed constantly, but I did not want anyone else when I loved you."

She leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you. . . not too long though, I've missed enough time with you."

He pulled her back into his arms. "I will call Mike in the morning and see how quickly he would be able to marry us. We will have to invite the Weasley's and Minerva."

"Remus."

He nodded. "Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?"

"I have no idea. Not France, I went there with James. Surprise me."

Severus smiled. "Very well."

**XXXXXX**

Lily stood in the Muggle dress shop with Sarah and Molly. "I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't get all dressed up, it's my second marriage, but if I don't I feel like I'm cheating him."

She groaned and continued to stare at the gowns and dresses before her. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Lily, do what you want to do. You know Severus will be happy with whatever you choose."

"I know he likes me in green, but that seems a little strange."

"Not at Christmas time." Molly and Sarah answered together.

The two women gravitated towards the section of green dresses. Sarah pulled out an emerald green dress with a satin bodice and ankle-length skirt that flowed with chiffon over the satin.

"Try this."

Lily took the dress and the two women followed her to the dressing room. When she stepped out a few minutes later, Molly and Sarah gasped.

"WOW! You have to get it. Not only will Severus love it, but you can still use the dress for things like a dinner or party."

Lily turned slowly in front of the large mirror. If feeling stunningly beautiful was part of the requirement for finding a dress, she had indeed found the dress.

"I love it."

**XXXXXX**

Nervousness was not a familiar sensation to Severus. He stood just outside the door that would take him into the nave of the small parish church. Arthur stood beside him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Severus. It's not painful, I promise."

He turned and frowned at Arthur, whom he had chosen as his best man. The Wizard was wearing a black suit with a red tie, Lily had gone with Christmas colours and Arthur was positively thrilled for the chance to be around Muggles and wear Muggle clothes. Severus was so glad to be getting married in the Muggle world, if he had been in the Wizarding world the expectation would have been for Lucius Malfoy to hold that honour and there was no way Lucius was going to get that close to Lily, not without going over Severus' dead body.

"Thank you for the help, Arthur, and for offering to take Harry while we are away."

"You're quite welcome; you and Lily are like part of the family. It's no trouble at all."

He could hear the soft tones of the final prelude piece through the door come to a stop. Lily had given him free rein with the music and he had chosen a variety of classical, but often neglected pieces, all English composers. It was his turn. He heard the opening bars of a coronet piece by Burney for him and Arthur and Remus and Sarah and Molly as her maids of honour. He eyed Remus; he no longer disliked the werewolf, but doubted he would ever be completely comfortable around him, he had been over for dinner a few times.

He walked into the nave, taking in the familiar architecture as he walked at Arthur's side to stand at the steps leading into the sanctuary from the nave of the old church. Sarah and Molly walked up the aisle, joining the men on the other side of the steps. Severus inhaled deeply as the organ stopped and a grand pause occurred. A moment later the Sumsion Processional March heralded Lily's arrival. She had chosen to have no one give her away. With her parents deceased, there really wasn't anyone to fill that role. She held a bouquet of white roses and holly, her emerald green dress brought out her eyes.

Lily saw Sev at the other end of the nave and took a deep breath, stepping forward on the right beat, turning slightly to make sure that Harry, who was her very young page, was following her. Her heart swelled, Sev stood tall and handsome at the other end of the aisle, waiting for her to join him. He was so handsome in that Muggle suit. She smiled, met his gaze and he smiled back.

Before she knew it, she was standing beside him. Sarah took Harry to the side to watch over him. They had not been able to invite many, but Minerva was there, as were Alastor and Kingsley. Severus was smiling when they joined hands, his dark eyes full of love and pride and desire all at once.

They exchanged the traditional vows and went back up the aisle together as a married couple.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

Lily sat on the edge of the bed. She had finally told Sev where she wanted to go and he had taken care of the details. They were in Wales, she had wanted quite and off the beaten path. They would have a week here before returning to Spinner's End for Christmas. Everything had moved so quickly, from his proposal to the wedding, she would have sworn they had used magic, a time turner, something, but they had not.

She smiled to herself, the warmth of anticipation making it hard to sit still. She could hear Sev in the bathroom. She had already changed out of her dress and into a long, white satin night gown. Lily had gone for the not-so-revealing so he would have to use his imagination and work a little. Her arms were bare; the satin clung in the right places, the v-neck line stopping just above her breasts. She brushed her hair one final time, letting it flow loose around her shoulders.

Lily heard the door open and stood. Severus swept her with his gaze, his dark eyes lingering for a moment as he started with her feet and went upwards until he met her gaze.

"Lily." His voice was deepened with desire.

She stepped forward and put her hands on his shoulders. He had on a shirt and boxers. He pulled her close.

"You were beautiful today. You always are, but today, even more so."

"You were exceptionally handsome in that suit." She smiled as his lips met hers.

He guided her backwards and lowered her to the bed. Lily let him. He touched her through the material of her gown; he kissed her deeply as his hands caressed her, making their way down her body. She slipped her hands under his shirt and pushed it off of him, interrupting his attentions briefly. Lily could feel some of the scars under her fingers, the physical reality of the loveless childhood he'd had made her want to weep for him, but she didn't. He wouldn't want her to and now he did have love, he had a family; his rough start to life would not condemn him to permanent misery.

His hands were on her sides now; she shifted, opening her legs so that he was between them. He looked at her, desire and uncertainty in those dark depths. She took his hand, feeling a little strange at being the one with the knowledge, and encouraged him forward.

"Instinct, Sev, stop worrying." She whispered and he kissed her again, this time moving his lips down her throat. She could barely pull together any thoughts at all as his lips reached her breasts and his hands reached her inner thighs.

She reached for him, touching him as he did her, moaning as he became more confident in his moves. He had pushed her nightgown away and moved back up to kiss her lips. Lily thought she knew what to expect, but the sensation that when through her when they finally joined was one of completeness and perfection. She could not remember screaming from sheer pleasure before, but this time she did, calling his name out as she came to completion, her body tightening around his.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N : **I must apologise, between family issues, tax season, and a little bit of writer's block (and plot bunnies for other stories-makes sense, right? ), this is it for the moment. I do hope you enjoy, I know it's a short chapter. Thank you to all that have reviewed, favourited, and followed.

**Eleven**

Severus stood at the front of the classroom, facing his First Year Griffyndor/Slytherin class.

"I hope that you all remember your reading and lecture from last period as you will be brewing the potion on page 254 today. Please open your books and once you have reviewed the instructions, gather your ingredients."

Severus remained at his position at the front of the classroom and watched his students open their books. Bill was one of the first to finish looking over the text before standing to get ingredients.

One of the Gryffindor boys, Aurelius Thorsson, got up behind Bill and when he turned around with the ingredients he needed, the Gryffindor shoved him, making him drop the ingredients. "Traitor…a Weasley in Slytherin. Disgusting."

Before Severus could get to the other side of the room, Bill had the boy against the wall. "I am not a traitor, there is nothing wrong with being in Slytherin….I wouldn't want to be in Gryffindor with the likes of you anyway."

"Mr. Weasley."

Bill let go of the other boy and backed away. Severus nodded. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for starting a fight in class and bullying a classmate. Pick up your ingredients and go back to the assignment. You both have detention with me tomorrow night, seven, in my office."

The boys looked appropriately contrite. "Yes sir."

"Go." He growled and cast his glare to the rest of the room, which had turned deathly silent. "Get back to work."

**XXXXXX**

Severus returned to his quarters that evening after the feast feeling annoyed and frustrated. He was sure Dumbledore was up to something, he wanted Harry Potter. Severus had felt the old wizard's calculating gaze on him, he was sure his position with Voldemort was important enough he would not jeopardise that, but he would likely continue to seek a way to get Harry, and possibly Lily as well, away from him.

He went to the floo and called Lily. Her face appeared in the flames.

"Lily, how has your day been?"

"Long, but good. I have news for you." She was smiling. "Would you mind if Harry and I come through?"

"Not at all." He stepped back and waited a moment. She stepped through with Harry who immediately reached for him.

He took Harry in one arm and pulled Lily close with his other, kissing her until Harry giggled. Severus looked at his stepson. "You think kissing is funny?"

"Silly."

"Someday your opinion will change." He smiled and led them both to the couch. Severus settled down to read a story to Harry while Lily prepared some tea. She had been doing well with her studies, he wanted her to start preparing for the written exams that were normally taken at mid-point in Potions Mastery studies. Lily was back in the room a few minutes later.

It didn't take long for Harry to fall asleep in Sev's lap. Sev put him down in his bed, warding it to keep Harry from falling and returned to the small parlour where he and Lily could spend some quiet time together. She leaned against him, putting her arms around him, her head against his chest.

"Would you like me to brew something?"

"Not tonight, but if you would begin the Wolfsbane, I think you are more than ready. Now, what is the news you said you had?"

Lily looked up at him and smiled. "I'm pregnant."

She watched as his expression changed from one of making sure he heard her correctly to a smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You are happy, aren't you?"

"Of course I am." He kissed her.

A few minutes later she pulled away and sat up. "Should I go to a Muggle doctor?"

Severus looked at her for a long moment. "I think we should avoid St. Mungo's, so perhaps a Muggle doctor and Madame Pomfrey to look after things. Would that be all right with you?"

Lily looked at him, she knew he was simply trying to protect her and Harry, and she agreed, the less exposure the better. She wanted Harry to have a normal life. "I think so, we should ask Madame Pomfrey if she would do it though." She watched him nod before continuing. "You know, Harry will have to go to Hogwarts."

"There is Durmstrang, you know."

Lily shook her head. "No. He will be fine here at Hogwarts, where you are to guide him and keep him safe. Harry Potter. . . . what do we tell him, Sev?"

Severus frowned, reaching for his wife. "About his father?"

"Yes. Everyone will tell him how wonderful James was, how great he was. I don't want him to think badly of James, but I don't want him to grow up thinking he was perfect either."

"Tell him the truth. He will already grow up without a prejudice against Slytherin, he will be far more open to judging people on what is in their head than how much money they have or how they are dressed. We should just be honest with him. He may look like James, but I do not see much of James in him. Tell him what you think he should know, but always be honest with him."

Lily watched Sev for a long moment. She wondered, not for the first time, how he had managed to turn out as well as he had. Between the neglect and abuse at home and being bullied at school, it was a miracle. She remembered he had defended others, but rarely himself. The only thing she could think of was the influence of the time he had spent with her family, and that must have been enough, small as it was.

"Sev, how will you explain our children?"

He looked down at her. Lily could not help the worry she felt over their position, hiding and yet not, knowing that Voldemort would return and Severus would have to return to his duties as spy. "They will be Snape's, I will not deny them, Lily, I will not put my position as spy ahead of our family."

"How was your day, really?" Lily asked, watching Severus as he shifted a bit, frowning.

"Much better with you and Harry here. I had to give detention to Bill Weasley and a Gryffindor today, Albus is up to something."

"He cannot find us."

"I certainly hope that is the case. I trust Arthur, it is you coming here I worry about."

She sat up and looked at him, staring into his eyes. "Severus Snape, do not even think about not allowing us to visit. I am not going to be cut off from my husband and our children will know their father." She touched his face, her expression softened. "We are safe with you."

He was silent for a few minutes, simply holding her in his arms. "Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?"

Lily smiled at his change of subject. "I have no idea. Do you have a preference?"

Sev shook his head. "As long as it's healthy, do you know when you're due?"

"The first week of September."

**XXXXXX**

Lily woke, the feeling of Severus' arms around her reminding her that she and Harry had remained at Hogwarts overnight, something they had never done. She hadn't wanted to leave and so she had put Harry in his own transfigured bed in the parlour, warded to let them know if he woke in the night. And then she and Sev had gone to his bedroom. She was glad she had stayed, Severus had been awakened by another nightmare. Turning in his arms so she was facing him, she kissed him on the lips, he opened his eyes.

"What time is it?"

She looked over his shoulder at the small antique clock he kept on his bedside table. "Five am." Lily laid back down, kissing his neck and whispering in his ear. "Harry's still sleeping."

An hour later, Severus knew he had to rise; it would be too suspicious if he did not show up for breakfast in the Great Hall. Lily got out of bed and stretched, throwing her clothes back on and going to look in on Harry. Once Sev was ready to go up to breakfast, he found Lily and Harry in the parlour. He spent a few minutes with Harry before saying goodbye and watching them go.

When he arrived in the Great Hall, he once again felt Dumbledore's gaze on him, but he ignored it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Twelve**

Lily couldn't help but stretch when she walked out of the examination room at the Ministry. She felt her hand was going to fall off after four hours of writing. She still had another day of exams to go. Lily walked down the corridor to Arthur's office. Severus still had one week at Hogwarts before coming home for the summer and she had agreed to come and go from her exams with Arthur or Kingsley. Her pale yellow summer robes were loose enough they concealed her pregnancy, but not so loose as to look frumpy. She entered the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office and found Arthur at his desk, puzzling over a cassette player.

"Ah, Lily. How did your exam go?"

"Fine, I think. I have one day left." Lily looked down at the innocent looking machine on his desk. "What did someone charm that to do?"

Arthur frowned. "Work without electricity."

Lily reached out and turned it over.

"No batteries, checked for those."

"Sorry." She put it down, afraid she'd just insulted the older Wizard, but Arthur smiled.

"No, no, that's all right." He looked at her and shook his head. "You are much more familiar with them than I am. It's not really a bad idea, not at all. I wish we could keep it."

Lily smiled. "It is a rather good idea, we do use Muggle things, just not modern Muggle things. If you can figure out the charm, why not try to keep such a thing?"

"I like that! I'll do it." Arthur's face brightened and he returned his attention to her. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, if you are."

"Then let's go."

**XXXXXX **

When Severus stepped through the front door he found Lily sitting on the parlour floor with Harry, playing with various toys.

"Daddy!" Harry squealed and ran to Severus. Lily got up and walked to him. Severus lifted Harry up and turned to his wife. She was positively glowing, he couldn't help the smile that came easily to his own lips. He felt Harry patting his shoulder and turned to him.

"Harry, have you had a good day?"

"Yes. Mummy helped me build a castle and went flying. I drawed a picture for you."

"I would love to see it." He set Harry down and watched him run back into the parlour, while pulling Lily into a hug. "How were your exams?"

"I feel I'm doing well. I only have tomorrow left. How is the last week of school?"

"Relatively quiet, most of the students are focused on their finals and not creating any mischief. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, really. I am going to need to get a few maternity things, I don't want to have to use charms all the time on my Muggle clothes." Lily stopped when Harry came back with his picture. Severus took it and smiled.

"Very good Harry." He had no idea what he was looking at. He bent down.

"I think we should put this in the kitchen where we can all enjoy it."

She followed Sev and Harry into the kitchen where he put the picture on the refrigerator door with a temporary sticking charm. He looked at her, a definite question in his dark eyes. Lily smiled. "Harry, this is a special place for pictures in the family, my mum and dad always put my pictures on the refrigerator."

Harry smiled and looked at Severus. "You too, Daddy?"

Severus frowned in thought. "I would colour with your mum and her mum, your grandmother, would put our pictures up together."

Harry seemed satisfied with the answer. "Another one?"

Lily nodded. "Your colours and paper are still in the parlour, go on."

From the kitchen, they watched Harry settle on the floor at the coffee table and grab one of the crayons and start colouring. Sev pulled Lily close to his side and they walked into the parlour and sat down.

"Molly was asking if I was going to start putting the nursery together."

"Are you?"

Lily shook her head, leaning against Sev as she settled down at his side. "No. I just feel it's bad luck to get everything ready, pick out names. . . . what if something happens?"

Severus wrapped his arms around her and spoke as they watched Harry play. "I think you will be fine, but if you are uncomfortable, then do not do it. However, we should clean out the third bedroom."

"What is in there? You've always had that one door locked and I didn't want to disturb it."

Severus shifted a bit. "It is mostly just papers and some other things I shoved in there after my father died. Nothing dark and disgusting." He smiled down at her. "It was my mother's sewing room, I remember when I was very, very small she had a Muggle treadle machine and she would let me sit between her feet and ride the thing."

"You can remember that? You couldn't have been more than two to do that."

"It is very faint, but yes, I do remember. Mum, before Tobias started . . . well, before, she had a fascination with doing things the Muggle way, a bit like Arthur actually."  
"How old were you when she changed?"

"Five or six. I think I had done accidental magic before, but she covered it. We were out, at my Snape grandparents for Christmas." Severus fell silent and Lily didn't push for more, he rarely spoke of his childhood and she was not going to push him, especially with Harry present.

"I used to sew, if we find your mum's machine, would you mind if I kept it and used it?"

He smiled. "I think she would like that."

**XXXXXX**

Lily finished her last exam and walked out of the office where she saw Arthur waiting for her.

"How was your exam?"

"I think I've passed, thank you."

"You're ready to go?"

"Yes." Lily was a little surprised at his lack of conversation, but thought he was simply having a very busy day and said nothing, following him to the floo network on the main level. "Arthur, I need to get my wand."

When she felt his hand on her arm she looked at him and a wave of unease gripped her. "Arthur."

"No, it's taken care of, come along."

She tried to pull away, but found herself unable to, her mind suddenly feeling as though it was stuffed with wool. Before she could react, they were flooing somewhere.

As soon as she was on solid ground, she pulled away. "Arthur?" Lily turned, realising slowly where she was. Hogwarts, the Headmaster's Office. She saw Dumbledore, but averted her eyes, knowing he could use Legilimency on her if she made eye contact.

"What is going on? Let me leave at once, Albus."

"Now, Lily, let's just have some tea."

"NO." Lily started to head for the door, but found Arthur in her way. "What is wrong with you? Did he Imperius you?"

A smile curved his lips, but it was not Arthur's smile, Lily felt her blood run cold as she recognised the condescending expression on another man's face.

"Polyjuice really is a rather convenient potion."

Lily struggled when he put his hands on her arms and tried to get her to move towards the Headmaster. She kept her feet planted and refused to turn.

"Now, Lily, we don't want to hurt you. I just want to make sure Harry is safe, please, sit down."

She heard Albus' voice from behind her and decided to play along for the moment. Lily turned, but did not meet Dumbledore's gaze. "Harry is perfectly safe where he is, let me leave, Headmaster."

"My dear, I don't think you realise the danger you are in, that Harry is in. When Voldemort returns, he will come after Harry."

"He didn't get Harry the first time, he won't next time, and you will NOT use my child as a pawn. The war is for adults to fight, not children." She couldn't move backwards, her body now being held against Malfoy's, and continued to avoid Dumbledore's gaze.

"Now Lily, James would want his son to be trained properly."

Lily felt angry, Dumbledore had not protected Severus, he had encouraged her relationship with James which was one that she was only starting to admit to herself had not been healthy. She took the chance and kicked the pretend Arthur, slamming her heel as hard as she could into the top of his foot. He released her and she ran for the door. It was locked with magic. With no wand she was powerless, why hadn't she asked Sev to teach her wandless magic? She felt arms around her, turning her roughly and pushing her back against the wall, his body pressed against hers.

"Mudblood bitch." His breath was hot on her face. The words, the voice, Malfoy's unmistakable glare, all on Arthur Weasley's face, Arthur's hands, his body. She felt trapped in a nightmare.

"Ah ah, Lucius, not here, please. Once I have what I want, you may do whatever you like with her."

Lily could not believe what she heard Dumbledore say, but then again he had tried to leave her son with her sister and had never once stood up for Severus in school. She tried to calm herself, to think in spite of Malfoy's body pinning her to the wall. Wandless magic. Accidental magic. It would be uncontrolled, but she could do it. She felt the anger mixed with fear rising inside, the determination that she would not let Albus near her son and would not let Malfoy harm her or her baby. She relaxed slightly and allowed him to push her towards Dumbldore. She found herself with her back against Malfoy, he was holding her head still, likely so Albus could use Legilimency on her, but she kept her eyes squeezed shut and tried to concentrate. "Deicite!"

**XXXXXX**

Severus was in the Potions classroom, available for students with last minute questions, when the lynx he knew to be Kingsley's Patronus bounded into the room. "She's missing. I'm outside."

That was all he needed. He ran upstairs and out to the main gates, not caring who saw him. Kingsley was waiting for him. "Did she make it to her exam?"

"Yes, and someone impersonating Arthur escorted her out of the Ministry. I wouldn't have known if Molly hadn't sent her Patronus telling me that Arthur was home and was acting odd, she knew he was supposed to get Lily."

If Lily had somehow been abducted . . . he did not have to allow that thought to go further. "Albus. Follow me."

The two Wizards ran back to the castle and up to the Headmaster's Office. Kingsley blasted the door open. Severus probably should have been concerned or shocked at least to see Malfoy and Dumbledore unconscious on the ground, but his only focus was his wife who was lying in a crumpled heap between the two men. "Go Severus, take care of Lily." Kingsley spoke as he collected wands and bound Malfoy. Severus scooped Lily up into his arms.

"Lily, Lily, please be all right." He whispered as he cast a disillusionment charm on Lily and nearly ran to the hospital wing.

"Severus!"

"Privacy, Poppy, please." The moment the older Witch moved two barriers into place, he laid Lily down and removed the charm.

"What happened?"

"I don't know."

Poppy ran a diagnostic and summoned a Strengthening Potion. "She has serious Magical drain and a few bruises, she's stable but very weak, and your baby is fine."

Severus slumped into the chair next to Lily's bed and took her hand in his. About an hour passed before Kingsley walked into the room. "Severus?"

"Is she all right?"

"She has very serious Magical drain, but I still have no idea what happened."

"Malfoy is claiming he was Imperiused and forced to take the Polyjuice Potion. I'll let the Ministry sort it out. Dumbledore is playing innocent as well, he claims Lily showed up with Arthur Weasley and Lily attacked them for no reason."

Severus shook his head. "They're not going to even try to come up with the same story?" He sighed. "Would you stay with her? I need to check on Harry and I want to say a few words to Dumbledore."

"Of course."

He left and fire-called Molly who assured him that Harry was fine. He then made his way back to Dumbldore's office. He found the old Wizard seated at his desk.

"Ah, Severus, lemon drop?"

Severus strode forward and put his hands on Dumbledore's desk, leaning over close to the Headmaster's face. "NO. I do NOT want a bloody lemon drop. You put Lily in grave danger today, and by doing so put Harry at risk."

"Now, Severus, calm . . ."

"I will NOT. I swore to protect them and I will, you will stay away from them both. I told you before, Harry Potter is NOT a pawn, he is a child. And Lily," he took a breath. "_Damn you to Hell,_ old man, do you have _any idea_ what Malfoy would have done to her?"

"We all make sacrifices, for the greater good."

"I make sacrifices, Lily, Harry, the Longbottom's, the Aurors, the civilians….everyone but you. You sit up here in your bloody tower and try and tell us all what to do, you're a manipulator NOT a leader. It stops NOW."

"Severus."

Severus pulled his wand and pointed it at Dumbledore, barely controlled rage coursing through his veins, threatening to explode forth with his magic. His voice quieted, his tone deadly calm as he proceeded. "I am well aware of the importance of a spy in Voldemort's ranks, a high level one that can help our side win, and I am more than willing to use my former associations and Slytherin cunning to that end. However, it also means that if you want your spy-rather than having to find someone and hope they are really loyal, you will leave Lily and Harry to me. You will cease any and all attempts at taking them from my protection. If I so much as imagine you are trying to take them again, I will take them and disappear and you will be without eyes and ears among the Death Eaters when he returns. Is that clear?"

Dumbledore fixed him with a steely glare and while Severus still did not trust him, he believed he would back off, at least for the present—Severus did know he had his position to hold over him and while he would not have felt that way even a short while ago, he knew better now. Dumbledore could not take back his defence of him before the Wizengamot and there simply was no one else who was strong enough and had enough long standing ties to be the eyes and ears the Light needed among the Death Eaters. It was far better to have a truly loyal spy than to have someone you had turned through threats and intimidation, Albus had to realise that.

"Perfectly."

**XXXXXX**

He strode up the path, his robes billowing as he moved towards the manor house. He stopped at the front door and knocked. A house-elf answered the door.

"Master Snape."

"Dobby. I need to see Mrs. Malfoy, immediately."

"Yes sir, Master Snape, sir."

He followed the House-Elf through the ornate foyer and into the drawing room and paced until he heard the door open. Narcissa Malfoy stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

"Severus. Lucius isn't in."

"I know, I am not here to see him."

She frowned. "Please, sit down."

He sat on the elegant 18th century couch and she sat across from him. "I know you helped Lily once, in school."

The blonde witch nodded. "I did. How did you know?"

"I was there, I saw you. I had heard Lucius talking to some of the other older boys, I knew there was nothing I could do to talk them out of it, but wanted to protect her. I tried walking her everywhere, but she told me while she liked the company, she was capable of walking on her own. The next day, I followed her after our last class, before dinner. When they had her cornered, I was going to intervene when you arrived and talked him out of it."

Narcissa dipped her head, staring at her hands. "I could not allow them to harm a child, even if she was a Muggle-born."

"Do you know why Lucius is sitting at the Ministry trying to explain himself out of another problem?"

She looked up at him. "No, but I know he's been talking about finding Lily . . . he thinks you have her. He's obsessed. Lily Potter is dead, even so, I've never understood the obsession."

Severus drew a deep breath, he knew he was taking a very large risk, but something deep inside told him it was all right to trust her. "Forbidden fruit, Narcissa. Lily is everything he has been taught to hate and avoid, to destroy, and yet he is clearly attracted to her beauty and power, it is simple lust, the temptation of what is forbidden and yet attractive." He took a breath. "She is alive, but I cannot say if I know where she is, I am not the Secret-Keeper; however, I am begging you, if at all possible, please help me keep him away from her."

Narcissa stared at him for a long moment. He knew he was risking quite a bit coming here and speaking to her at all, but still, something told him it was the right thing to do. "Severus, I . . . I don't know if I can. His temper is worse, much worse."

She looked down at her hands again.

"Has he hurt you?"

"And if he has? There is nothing you can do, please, don't even try, I am fine. I will try to show him his obsession is causing problems, problems the Dark Lord would be most disappointed to hear about. I know he does not want to draw undue attention to himself. That is all I can do."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, Narcissa. I appreciate it."

**XXXXXX **

It was nearly a full day later before Lily stirred, regaining consciousness. Severus had not left her side since returning from his visit to Narcissa; Harry was still with the Weasley's. Severus felt her fingers move and looked up to see her blink her eyes. "Sev?"

"Lily!" He reached up and touched her face. "How do you feel?"

She shifted a little and he helped her sit up, propping herself against the pillows. "Tired, but all right now that I see you. Where is Harry?"

"He is safe." Severus paused. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Lily nodded and started speaking, nearly whispering her answer as she watched him. "Arthur met me, or at least I thought it was him. He was acting a little strange, and he said I didn't need to retrieve my wand. We flooed to Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore wanted to know where Harry was, I told him I wanted to leave. I realised it wasn't Arthur, the way he was looking at me and talking, I knew it was Malfoy. Dumbledore told him that once he got what he wanted Lucius could do whatever he wanted with me. He tried to use Legilimency on me, but I kept my eyes closed, they were holding me down and I just yelled Deicite and I don't remember anything until now."

"Uncontrolled wandless magic. You drained yourself magically, very badly, but good job on the spell, love. I can teach you to focus it, I should have before, I am sorry I did not. And Occlumency, I can teach you that as well."

"Can we go home? I want to see Harry."

"Let Poppy check you out one more time and then yes, we can go." He kissed her on the forehead and went to get Poppy.

A short time later he was walking her down to his chambers. They simply walked side-by-side, Lily had chosen to use a simple glamour and they received only a few curious looks, mostly from students who were more than likely just surprised to see Severus with a woman who was not a Professor or parent as far as anyone knew.

**XXXXXX**

Lily settled herself on the couch in the parlour and waited for Severus to get back with Harry. He still had to return to school, but wanted to make sure she was all right first. He came back through the Floo with Harry who ran to his mother the moment Severus set him down.

"MUMMY!"

"Hi baby. I missed you!"

"Missed you, Mummy!"

"Did you have fun at the Weasley's?"

Harry nodded. "Charlie an' me play with his dragon an' we play Quidditch!"

Lily looked up at Severus who mouthed '_Child's brooms and soft balls_.' "I'm glad you had fun Harry."

Severus spoke. "I need to get back to school, you need to rest still, with the Magical drain and your pregnancy, all right?"

"I'll be careful." She smiled at him, appreciating his concern.

"And talk to Arthur when you are up to it, he is beside himself over what happened, he thinks you will never want to see him again."

Lily sighed and nodded. "I will. It was frightening to have 'Arthur' hurting me like that, I knew it wasn't him, but still, it _looked_ like him."

She felt Severus' hand on her face, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. "When you are ready. I will be back Friday evening."

**XXXXXX**

The last few days of school were mercifully over quickly. Severus had focused on his duties and nothing more. He left Hogwarts just as soon as he could Friday and did not look back as he Apparated home. The house at Spinner's End was looking a bit brighter, Lily had planted flowers in flower boxes in the windows and somehow just the internal happiness now present seemed to lighten the once gloomy exterior.

He entered the house and found it quiet, walking into the parlour he found a note hovering over the table. He smiled, notes could get lost in the Muggle world, but no one would miss a floating piece of parchment. Plucking it out of the air, he read. She was with Harry at Sarah's. He quickly removed his coat and cravat, leaving him in his white shirt and trousers and made his way the few blocks to Sarah and Mike's home.

Lily was sitting on the floor with Harry and Sarah's youngest, playing with a set of cars. Harry jumped up and ran to him, Lily remained on the floor. He lifted Harry into his arms and reached down, offering his free arm to Lily.

She took his arm and pulled herself up. "I think I need to stop doing that, it's getting uncomfortable."

He pulled her close. "How are you feeling?"

"Perfectly normal, don't worry." She kissed him on the cheek. "Sarah?"

Sarah came in from the kitchen. "Oh, Severus, I thought I heard you come in. How was your school year?"

"Good, thank you. And thank you for helping Lily out while I've been away teaching."

"Anytime, Severus. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

He looked at Lily, she nodded. "That's fine with me."

"We would be delighted."

Lily turned to Sarah. "Can I help with anything?"

**XXXXXX**

Severus watched his wife sleep. She was lying on her side, facing him, her breathing even and deep. He certainly looked on Harry as his son, but the child inside her was part him, he was happy beyond words and scared to death all at once. Lily's eyes opened and she frowned.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking."

She snuggled closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You think too much."

"Probably." He returned her gesture, pulling her against his body, feeling her warmth against him.

Stretching upwards, Lily put her lips to his, her hands moving around to his chest until she gently pushed him onto his back. Severus smiled as she straddled him, a beautiful gleam in her eyes. She was always beautiful, but now she seemed even more so, if that was possible. The pale light filtering through the window showed him her thick red hair, she leaned down and kissed him again, this time he parted his lips and felt her tongue against his. He was more than willing to let her do whatever she had in mind. Severus put his hands on her legs, running them lightly up and under her nightgown until he reached her growing abdomen.

She pulled away from the kiss, feeling his body reacting to her position. "So, you find pregnancy sexy?"

"You always are beautiful and desirable, but yes, there is something unique about this."

Lily returned to the kiss for a few moments before shifting herself upwards and pulling her nightgown off, giving her husband unhindered contact as she lowered herself onto him. His hands were on her, she didn't have to tell him where she wanted his attention. She gasped at the feel of his hands on her breasts, his touch fuelling the flames of desire that grew within her. Everything seemed more sensitive, she felt the brush of his fingers travelling lower on her body as she rose and lowered herself again.

Afterwards, Lily lay curled up with Severus, their bodies tangled together, holding each other. He had drifted back to sleep. She looked at him, eternally thankful for her own second chance and for his.

**XXXXXX**

She stood in front of the fireplace, ready to go. Severus came down the stairs with Harry, both of them dressed in black pants and green shirts.

"Honestly Sev, you two both own other colours." Lily smiled, shaking her head the her husband and son.

"He wanted to dress like me and this is what I am wearing." He came to a stop next to her. They were going to the Weasley's for the day. Harry's third birthday was a month away and this would be the first time that Lily had seen Arthur since the day she had nearly been taken by Lucius. He took her hand in his. "Ready?"

Lily looked down at her feet for a second, not liking the worry she felt. The soft touch of Sev's fingers on her chin was enough to make her look up into his dark eyes.

"Lily, love, I am sure this is difficult for you, but Arthur Weasley will not hurt you. Do not let what Lucius did destroy the friendship and trust that we have between our two families, all right? I am certain he would like nothing better than to know that what he did caused a rift, do not let him win."

She inhaled deeply and nodded. "I won't. I'm just nervous."

"Understandable." He held his free arm out and together they left the house, walking to the point where they Apparated to the Weasley's.

Harry ran to find Ron as he always did and Molly greeted them first as they came through the door. Lily was face-to-face with Arthur.

"Lily. I am so sorry, I hate that he used me, cursed me and harmed you."

Lily put her hand out and touched his arm, she knew Severus was at her side. "Arthur, I know you didn't help him willingly. It's all right, I don't blame you. I knew the moment he started talking in Dumbledore's office it was not truly you, you never would have spoken to me that way."

Arthur smiled. "Thank you."

The silence only last a moment, until Molly smiled and pulled them further into the house. "Come along, lunch is almost ready!"

She felt Sev's arm around her waist. "Go on with Molly, I will watch Harry." He gave her a kiss on her cheek and walked into the other room with Arthur.

**Deicite:** Imperative form of Deicio—to throw down, dislodge. I know the imperative form is not the one normally used for spells, but I just feel that if giving a command the correct form is imperative, not first person singular.

**A/N: **For the future: Yes, there is a point to Narcissa being nice, it will come in later. I just don't think she was a real dedicated bad guy, if given the chance, she might have made different choices. Lucius will stay evil, I'm a bit torn on whether he is eventually successful in at least getting Lily or not….so, you'll just have to wait and see on that one. I am not going to apologise for having Dumbledore and Malfoy work together-I think they are both men who would do whatever to get what they want and if that means working together, I think they would. I've been doing this all from Lily and Severus' POV and I'm not sure I will go into others, but I do plan on eventual Harry/Hermione in the mix, NOT Harry/Ginny as they would be too much like sister and brother in this AU. It will remain primarily Lily and Severus.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thirteen**

Lily stared at the pile of things in the third bedroom. "Severus, here I thought you were organised."

She looked up at him, trying not to giggle. He frowned. "I just shoved things in here after taking the house after my mum died and Tobias disappeared."

He never called his father, 'father', only by his name.

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"No. And I'm not going to go looking; he's probably dead or in prison." He stepped into the room and started with the first box on his right. Lily worked with him, it was mostly old papers they disposed of, a few books Severus put in a pile to keep. Lily opened a box and found some pictures.

"Sev, look." She started going through them. What looked like Eileen's wedding day, followed by a few pictures of her smiling and laughing, perhaps their honeymoon. It was followed by pictures of her pregnant. "Have you seen these?"

He shook his head and took them from her, looking over each one. "I remember her smiling a few times, not much, not like this." He flipped through the photos and came to ones of him. "Surprising, I would think they would not have wanted to waste the film."

Lily put her hand on his arm, drawing his attention. "Sev, they loved you, they were your parents."

"No. My Mum, perhaps, but not Tobias."

"Sev, look." She took several of the photos and spread them out. It was a series of pictures, clearly Eileen trying to get him to walk and then succeeding, smiling proudly as a little Severus walked towards her, arms outstretched. "Who do you think took these?"

"Mum could have charmed it to be automatic."

"Possibly, but it could have been your father."

He shrugged. "Perhaps, but I do not think he ever loved me or my mum, if he had he would never have treated us the way he did, even when he found out we were magic."

Lily found herself unable to argue, she too believed that love was something that did not go away, not if it was real, it didn't stop. She wasn't sure she would ever get him to really talk about his childhood, it came out in little bits and pieces. He continued looking through the pictures, even smiling a bit. He reached the end.

"It looks like I was right, there is nothing after I was five."

He carefully restacked them and set them aside, continuing on to the next box. Lily noticed he didn't put them in the trash pile and was glad. When Harry woke from his nap she went to get him while Severus continued on with sorting.

**XXXXXX**

Lily sank down onto the bed, she was tired, hot and felt like a whale. Sev told her she looked beautiful, but she had to question his judgment as she leaned back on the pillows, kicking her shoes off her swollen feet.

"Lily, are you all right?"

She heard Sev call from across the hall where he was getting Harry down for his nap. Harry's third birthday party had been fun, but she was eternally grateful that Molly had volunteered to hostess it and all Lily had to do was be there.

"Yes, Sev. I'm fine."

The soft, deep sounds of Sev's voice as he talked to Harry soothed her as well, she smiled when she heard him start to sing. He had a beautiful baritone voice, and as long as it was a slow song he managed to hold himself on pitch without music. She felt herself drifting to sleep when she felt the bed shift slightly as weight was added. Opening her eyes, she found herself looking into Sev's dark eyes. "And you are absolutely certain there is only one in there?"

He whispered, arching one eyebrow.

"Yes. Just one. I'm not likely to have multiples, Sev, it's not in my family. Is it in yours?"

He shook his head, lying down and pulling her close. "No. The Prince's had small families and while the Snape's were very prolific, there were no twins or triplets as far as I know."

"So you have cousins?"

"Yes, although I have not seen them in years. I doubt they would have anything to do with me."

"Then they are not worth knowing if they would judge you on the actions of your father."

Severus looked at her for a moment. Lily ran her fingers through her hair. "I would like a nap, Sev, stay with me?"

"Of course."

**XXXXXX **

Two more weeks. Severus stood in the middle of his storeroom at Hogwarts, making sure everything was in place for the new term. Everything was ordered and in place, his lessons plans were complete. He had nothing further to keep him until the day school started. He started to walk into the Slytherin Common Room to make certain it was in the order he wanted when the silver sheepdog he recognised as Arthur's patronus bounded into the room.

"Lily's in labour!"

Severus ran back to his chambers and used the floo to get home. He found Arthur waiting with Harry.

"Is she here?"

"Upstairs, Madame Pomfrey is with her. I thought I'd take Harry back to the Burrow and send Molly along."

"That would be good, thank you." He looked at Harry.

"Daddy, I's going to be a brother!"

"Yes, you are. Go on with Mr. Weasley." He hugged Harry and watched him go with Arthur before charging up the stairs. Just as he reached the closed door to the master bedroom, a scream filled the air. Coming to a complete stop, he drew in a deep breath and reminded himself she was in labour, not mortal danger.

He opened the door and found Lily on their bed, Madame Pomfrey at her side.

Lily looked up at him and held her hand out. He stepped over to the bed and took her hand in his. Before he could speak, she did. "I'm just a little early, Severus. It's all right, I promise. Poppy says there's nothing wrong, just an eager child."

Severus nodded. It seemed as though an eternity passed, darkness fell and the labour continued. He was sure Lily was going to break his fingers the way she squeezed, but he said nothing. He had expressed concern to Poppy that maybe they should go to the Muggle hospital and she assured him everything was normal. Normal?

Finally a baby's cry announced the arrival of their child. Lily leaned back and they both watched as Poppy cleaned him and checked him over.

Lily was so tired she could not manage to say anything, she just kept her hand on Severus' and finally Poppy turned to them, holding a tiny bundle wrapped in a blue blanket.

"It's a boy. Congratulations, Severus, Lily."

"Sev, you can hold him first."

She watched has her already pale husband seemed to pale further. "I . . . I can't."

"Sev, you've held and cared for Harry. Come on, you'll be fine."

He swallowed hard and let Poppy place the impossibly tiny bundle in his arms. The baby's eyes opened just enough for Sev to see the darkness of his own eyes mirrored in his son's.

"What will you name him?"

Lily looked at Sev. They had talked about a few names. "Sev?"

"Richard, after your father."

"Richard Severus Snape." Lily spoke quietly, smiling at her husband, the look of awe in his eyes as he stared down at the tiny baby in his arms. Severus turned his gaze towards her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I know you don't want to have a 'junior', but I want to have part of your name passed on to our son."

"Thank you." Severus smiled.

A few minutes later, Poppy spoke. "Lily, you need to let him eat."

Lily nodded and took Richard from Sev. She was pleased that her son needed very little encouragement and looked up to see Severus looking on them with complete wonder.

**XXXXXX **

She woke to the sound of the low rumble of Sev's rich baritone whispering something, opening her eyes she saw him standing on the other side of the room, changing their tiny newborn son. He stopped and looked towards her.

"Mummy's awake." He lifted the child in one arm and walked to the bed, handing the now fussing baby to her.

"Are you going to get Harry today?"

"I thought I would wait and see how your morning is first. Poppy said you would need to rest for a few days."

Lily took Richard and let him eat. She was tired, but she wanted Harry home. "It's still morning?"

"Barely." He answered. Richard had come just after ten o'clock and then sleep had been interrupted at regular intervals.

"He'll want to see his new brother and so will Molly. Let them come on over, I'm not up to more though, anyone else will have to wait."

Sev nodded. "I will floo them. Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

By the time Severus returned with Lily's lunch and Harry and Molly with him, Richard was back to sleep in his cradle. Lily sat up in bed and Harry ran to her, climbing up on the bed.

"Mummy!"

She hugged him back as he wrapped his arms around her neck. He had obviously been told to be careful, he had slowed down once he got on the bed. "Were you good for Mr. & Mrs. Weasley?"

"Yes." He peered over her and down into the cradle. "I's a big brother!"

"Yes, you are. We named him Richard after my father."

"Grandpa Evans."

"Yes."

Lily watched Harry climb off the bed and get on the floor next to the cradle, staring at the baby. Molly came and stood next to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, but all right. Severus has been wonderful." She turned her head to look up at him as he sat the tray down beside her that contained a bowl of soup and a chicken sandwich with some juice to drink.

"Good." Molly smiled. "Now, let's see that little one!"

**XXXXXX **

Lily was sitting in the back garden with Richard, watching Severus and Harry fly together. Harry had been using his broom, but wanted to go higher and so they were now flying around together under a notice-me-not charm so the Muggles would not see them. Severus landed and put Harry on the ground. They walked over to her.

"I know you have to go back to school soon, but what about those lessons you promised to give me after the baby was born?"

Severus smiled. "Yes, wandless magic." He looked around and saw she had a glass of water on the table next to her. "Where is your wand?"

She pulled it out of the arm holster he had given her and he took it.

"Focus and summon that glass of water."

Lily nodded and took a deep breath, looking at the water. She thought _Accio_, but nothing happened.

"How did I do it before?"

Severus held out his hand and summoned the glass into his hand, handing it to Lily. Harry clapped and giggled.

"You were fighting for your life, Lily, and to protect your baby and you were pregnant. I learned to use wandless magic out of necessity, and I learned while I was still in school."

"Why?" She spoke, adjusting Richard slightly in the baby-sling she had him in against her chest.

Harry had gone to play with his tricycle.

"It was the only way I could practise magic here, my father would lock my things away. I tried to use it to defend myself, but most of the time I simply was unable to, I do not know why."

She took his hand, pulling him closer. "Because it isn't in you to harm others unless you are helping someone else, yet more evidence you are a good man inside."

He shrugged. "I became a little better at it after Fifth Year, after . . . you know. But it wasn't until after school I really became good at it." He paused. "Try again." Sev set the glass back on the table.

Lily sighed and stared at the glass, she could feel her magic.

"Try saying the incantation."

"Accio water glass."

Nothing. Lily looked at her husband.

"Keep trying. Do not get impatient with yourself, Lily. It requires focusing your magic, it will help with Occlumency later. Remember that what you did was more like uncontrolled accidental magic, you were desperate to protect your child and yourself."

He sat down beside her just as Richard woke. Lily frowned. "Someone needs a fresh nappy!"

She started to stand. Severus got up. "I'll take him. You stay here with Harry."

Lily let him take their tiny son back inside the house. Harry stopped riding and ran over to her, jumping up into her lap and hugging her.

"Mummy?"

"Yes, Harry?" She hugged him back.

"I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I always will."

"Even with Richard?"

"Yes, Harry. I love you both and so does your daddy. Richard is a baby right now and needs more attention, when he gets bigger you two can play together, but right now I bet we can find something you can help me with, if you want to."

"I help Mummy?" He brightened.

"Yes, you're Richard's big brother! I will tell you what you can do to help me when he's down for his next nap, all right?"

"Yes!"

Severus returned with Richard and Lily took him to feed him.

**XXXXXX**

Lily laid on the sofa, her back against her husband, his arms around her. Ths house was surprisingly quiet, Harry was in bed and for the moment Richard was even asleep. Sev had only a few days left before he had to go back. An owl tapped at the window. Lily got up and let it in, taking the note.

"It's for you, from the Headmaster."

He rolled his eyes and took the letter. She watched him, he was too still.

"Bloody Hell."

"What?"

"It seems there is a Snape on the rolls at Hogwarts. Naturally, he wants to know if the child is related. I cannot believe I did not think of that."

"You had other things on your mind."

He looked over at her, and he smiled. "Yes. I should go to the school though and attempt to explain. Malfoy will know as well, but he will believe the child to be a bastard."

"What will you tell Dumbledore?"

Severus sighed and returned to his place on the couch, taking her in his arms.

"That the boy on the rolls is my son. I told you I will not deny our children. He may still want Harry, but I am hoping he will not continue to try and take either of you from me, I do not trust him, especially not after he was working with Malfoy."

Lily snuggled deeper into his embrace.

"I will protect you and the boys."

"I know. I need to be working on practicals for my finals with the Ministry. Do you want me to keep the same schedule?"

"Yes, I think we can still do that, you and the boys will be safe in my quarters, I added to the wards on my chambers."

He stroked her hair and she just leaned back against him. "Will You-Know-Who come back?"

"I believe he has a way to come back, I just do not know what exactly, yet."

"Does Dumbledore?"

"If he does, he has not bothered to tell me. He is far more interested in training Harry to fight You-Know-Who. Even if Harry is supposed to have something to do with his final defeat, it would be prudent to know how he plans to return, before he does. Then you could possibly stop his return, or at the very least be prepared for it." Severus spoke quietly, holding Lily close, content to simply feel her in his arms.

**XXXXXX**

Severus allowed his robes to billow as he marched down the empty corridor. School would begin in exactly one week. He was still irritated with himself for not thinking ahead to the books that would record his child's name at birth. Giving the password, he made his way to the Headmaster's office.

"Severus, good to see you."

The Potions Master crossed his arms and stood in front of Dumbledore who was seated at his desk.

"Your letter indicated you wished to see me."

"Yes! There was a new name on the roll books, a Richard Snape. Any relation?"

Severus inhaled deeply. He had sworn to Lily he would not deny their children. "He is my son."

"The mother?"

He would keep the story consistent, treat Dumbledore like Malfoy. "Of little consequence, the point is that yes, I have a son of my own blood that will be enrolled at Hogwarts when he is of age. I believe you were concerned about my position?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, have you considered how this will affect your position?"

"It will not, Voldemort will be gone for good before I have to be concerned about a son of mine being forced to become a junior Death Eater." Severus answered.

"We are not certain he can come back."

"Yes, he can. I told you what Malfoy said. He has a way to come back, it would be of great benefit to start trying to discover just how and delaying will only make things worse."

"I will look into it. I still do not see how you can possibly keep Harry and Lily safe and maintain your cover as a Death Eater."

"That is none of your concern and I warned you, Albus, leave them alone or lose us all." He turned on his heel, his robes billowing out as he marched from the office.

**XXXXXX**

Lily was sitting in the back garden with Molly, Sarah and the children. The children played and the women sat in chairs talking and watching. Lily looked up and saw Harry sitting on the ground with Ron, giggling at something.

"What are those two doing?" She stood, leaving Richard with Molly. She got closer and heard Harry talking, but couldn't understand him. That is when she saw the snake between the two boys. The twins had wandered over to watch.

"Look what Harry can do!"

Lily froze for a moment before picking Harry up, despite his protests.

"Mummy! No!"

"Hush, Harry. We need to talk to your dad." Lily saw Molly stand and shook her head. "He's all right, it's . . . I have to call Sev."

She looked at the clock above the mantle and saw he did not have a class and so was probably in his office or quarters. She tried his quarters. He appeared a moment later in the flames.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I really don't know, can you come through, please?"

"Of course."

She stepped back and he came through, Harry grabbed for him and he took him.

"What is it?"

"He was talking to a snake, he can speak Parseltongue."

Severus stared at her for a moment. "Are there any Potter's with that trait?"

"No. They were all Gryffindor's."

She watched him roll his eyes and look at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at her. "Lily, it has nothing to do with what house one is in, if it did then all or most Slytherin's would be able to speak it and the fact is most cannot. Something Dumbledore or Po . . . James told you?"

Lily nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry, Sev. . ."

He put his hand on her arm and shook his head. "No, there is no reason you should have doubted what they said, I suppose, you had no other experience." He looked at Harry.

"It may have something to do with the scar. I am not about to tell Albus just yet, I do not think he is in any danger, I have never detected anything dark from him." He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I will do some research, speaking to snakes is seen by some as a gift, it is a language, not a curse."

Lily nodded. "All right, thank you. I didn't mean to panic."

Severus frowned at her. "Lily, it is not panic to want to make sure your child is all right, you did not panic. You called someone you knew would be able to help immediately, that is not panic."

Harry wrapped his arms around Sev. "Daddy no go."

"Harry, I must return to work. However, if you are a very good boy for your mum, you can come Friday and stay with me, just us." He knew Harry was having a little trouble adjusting even with the tasks that he and Lily had set for him to help with as very important.

"Just us?" He look from Sev to Lily. Lily nodded.

"Yes."

**XXX**

**A/N: **Truthfully, I did not want to post this just yet, I wanted to go a bit further. However, yesterday morning I got a request for a full manuscript from an editor I had sent a query and three chapters to on my other writing So, I need to put this on the "back burner" so to speak while I polish my story up and send it off to her, since I didn't want to leave quite so long with nothing - I decided to go ahead and put this up.

Thanks to all who have read, reviewed, favourited …. I will be back! I just need to pour the energy into my non-ff story for a bit, ok?


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